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Gratitude

Serenity Seeds: Gratitude, Lifestyle, and '3 Good Things'

How to embrace serenity during the day and add a calming ritual at bedtime.

Key points

  • An attitude of gratitude enhances the search for serenity.
  • Living a healthy lifestyle is a serenity booster.
  • Practicing “Three Good Things” at night leads to a more refreshing sleep that helps us the following day.

With so much turmoil in the news, seeking serenity can help us remain positive during the day and sleep restfully at night. At what appeared to be the height of the holistic health movement in the 1990s, serenity was a popular concept. Even today it is being advocated as a way to curb physician burnout. Some define serenity as the simple experience of absolute calm. Serenity is fully experienced when we seek it and embrace it.

Where to Begin a Serenity Search

If you were to aspire to serenity, where would you begin? For some, serenity might begin upon waking and greeting the day with gratitude. Others might find serenity while preparing for a peaceful sleep and writing about good things that happened during the day.

For me, the search for serenity began some 20 years ago while writing, teaching, and preparing a serenity journal. Attaining serenity takes time and focus. As such, it is important to find a method that is compatible with our personality and lifestyle so that we can weave it into our daily routine.

An Attitude of Gratitude

If we look at the research of Robert Emmons, a psychology professor at the University of California, Davis, and the founding editor-in-chief of The Journal of Positive Psychology, we can see why gratitude plays an important role in serenity. According to Emmons, "Attitude change often follows behavior change. By living the gratitude that we do not necessarily feel, we can begin to feel the gratitude that we live.” Gratitude as an attitude sparks love.

Begin each day by expressing gratitude. Be thankful for yourself, family, friends, and neighbors—even pets that brighten our lives. Gratitude boosters include smiling, saying "thank you," sending thank-you notes, and as Emmons advocates, starting a gratitude journal (Emmons & McCullough, 2003).

A gratitude journal is a reminder each day of what it is that brings us joy, sometimes even in the midst of chaos. Find a place within your home that is clutter-free. Buy or make a gratitude journal that is inviting and encourages you to write your thoughts. Gratitude is a healthy and easy way to achieve a certain peace of mind.

A Healthy Lifestyle

Beginning the day with gratitude prompts us to stay positive even upon hearing distressing news. It encourages us to be respectful of others as well as ourselves, therefore, being mindful of our bodies' needs. Practicing the six pillars of a healthy lifestyle can help us through stressful circumstances. Even hospital physicians can benefit. In writing about physician burnout in 2021, Liana Lianov reported:

“To the extent possible, we all need to be practicing the 6 pillars of a healthy lifestyle: eating a predominantly whole food plant-based diet, being physically active, getting adequate sleep, avoiding risky substance use, managing stress..."

Maintaining an attitude of gratitude during the day while also living a healthy lifestyle seamlessly weaves into setting the stage for a restful night.

Three Good Things

A way to prepare for adequate sleep was proposed by the late Martin Seligman with a method he called “Three Good Things.” Some see this as a way of counting blessings instead of woes. Here is the simple formula:

  • Think of three good things that happened today.
  • Write them down.
  • Reflect on your role in why they happened.

The researchers point out, “It works best if you do it every night for two weeks, within two hours of sleep onset. It might also be helpful to let your friends or family know that you’re doing it. Sometimes they can help you identify a role you played in bringing a good thing about that you may have not recognized.” (Here is a video of Seligman discussing the exercise.)

As Dale R. Floody, professor emeritus with the University of Wisconsin Colleges and author of Balanced Positive Psychology: Where the Grass is Greener, has written: "Serenity can be thought of as a personal and unique way of living which includes behavioral and cognitive components that are associated with feeling calm, peaceful, and untroubled." (Serenity and Inner Peace, 2014.)

© Rita Watson, MPH, 2023.

References

Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003). Counting blessings versus burdens: An experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(2), 377–389.

Lianov L. A Powerful Antidote to Physician Burnout: Intensive Healthy Lifestyle and Positive Psychology Approaches. Am J Lifestyle Med. 2021 Apr 21;15(5):563-566.

Floody, D. R. (2014). Serenity and inner peace: Positive perspectives. In G. K. Sims, L. L. Nelson, & M. R. Puopolo (Eds.), Personal peacefulness: Psychological perspectives (pp. 107–133). Springer Science + Business Media. American Psychological Association.

Watson, R.E., (2000). A Serenity Journal. Paulist Press. Mahwah, N.J. (Regarding A Serenity Journal, Frederick Altice, M.D., Yale School of Medicine, wrote: “Serenity and gratitude may well be the added benefit to medicine and science.

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