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Key points
- While some dreams at first appear to be quite literal, a little investigating might instead reveal depth.
- Contrasting elements in a dream might be there for the purpose of creating balance in the dreamer's approach.
- Once the dreamer makes a personal connection to an image, often their waking situation is suddenly revealed.
At first glance, it might seem obvious that a simple dream should have a simple meaning. In fact, Mia, who regards herself as a “horrid plant mom,” thought her dream of a dead orchid expressed a literal situation. With the process of dream analysis, she saw how the drowned orchid reflected her own profound grief, even as it provided the impetus for her to move beyond her sadness and take care of herself.
The Dream
From Mia: My roommate and I had bought a huge, beautiful orchid and one afternoon when I walked into our apartment, it was completely dead, crumpled in a ball, flooded with water. We do have a ton of dead plants. My roommate and I are horrid plant moms, so I wonder if this was a literal dream!
The Discussion
I began by prompting, “Tell me about orchids. What thoughts do they bring to mind? You can also just describe an orchid and the care needed to keep it alive and thriving.”
Mia explained, “My mom loves orchids, and she always says all they need is one ice cube a week and when they die, they come back. My parents always have an orchid in the house, right when you walk in the door.
“I am the worst plant mom on the planet. All of my plants die and look horrible. I never know how much to water them. I think I over-water and then under-water them.”
I continued investigating Mia’s use of orchids. “How did you feel when you saw the orchid on the floor, crumpled?”
Mia responded, “I felt really upset seeing the orchid on the floor. Like I let people or someone down. Maybe that I let myself down in the process, too.”
I continued, “On one hand, you describe orchids by saying ‘all they need is one ice cube a week.’ Yet, in your dream, the orchid is ‘crumpled in a ball, flooded with water.’ If this was my dream, I might be looking for what in my life feels like it’s flooding.
“There’s another contrast that I noticed. You describe how ‘when an orchid dies, it comes back.’ Yet, in your dream you say, ‘it was completely dead.’”
After a moment, Mia offered, “I remember a lot of what I was feeling the week of the orchid dream. It was right before my birthday. I felt sad and not like celebrating. In fact, I felt like it was the worst year of my life after my friend Shea died.
“I also felt horrible because a bunch of my close friends planned a trip to Italy on my birthday week while I was at Shea’s memorial, grieving and out of town. That week they all met up to plan the trip. Nobody asked me for my input or what I would want to do. When they asked me if I was going to go, I said, ‘absolutely not.’
“I’m like the orchid. Instead of the small amount of sadness or tears I can manage to stay above ground, I was instead flooded…crumpled up on the floor. If I didn’t feel dead after losing my friend Shea, this birthday incident made me feel ‘completely dead.’”
I observed, “You present several juxtapositions in your dream revolving around you and your mom. For example, you call yourself a ‘terrible plant mom.’ I am struck by this phrase because your first association with orchids was how your mom loves them and is apparently a great ‘plant mom.’ Your mom also says that when orchids die, "they come back," as opposed to your orchid being ‘completely dead.’
“Finally, you say that you feel ‘like you let people or someone down’ but your parents ‘always have an orchid in the house, right when you walk in the door.’
“So, I see a series of extremes between yourself, the "terrible plant mom," and your own mom. All these contrasts in your dream revolve around the issues of death, caring for others, and effectively nurturing as opposed to letting others down.”
Mia agreed with me and replied, “I can add another angle to how I was crumpled on the floor, but then I took care of business. I have a second group of friends and was also really hoping that they would’ve planned something for me, but nobody did.
“After this dream, I threw myself a spur-of-the-moment party, and or fun, calling it a surprise party. I even sent out invites! The party ended up being an absolute blast. Everyone had so much fun, and it was honestly perfect.”
I added, “So where you normally view yourself as a person who is a ‘terrible plant mom,’ it appears there has been a shift. You gave yourself the party! You were able to nurture yourself.”
Mia closed by saying, “Yes! I invited a ton of people to my birthday and everyone who came I genuinely wanted to be there. It’s true. I did myself a good turn.”
What We Can Learn
While often our dreams present scenes that we find sad, it is precisely that sadness that can inspire us to take a stand. How moving that shortly after she had this dream, Mia organized her own birthday party and had a lovely time with her favorite friends.
She showed great inner strength when, at the end of what had to be an extremely difficult year, she turned herself into the orchid who "came back"!
Even in the face of a disappointing support group, she confronted the feeling of "letting herself down" in the orchid dream and, instead, lifted herself back up. The process of dream interpretation allowed her to acknowledge both her overwhelming sadness and her strength, which helped her “take care of the business” of taking care of herself.
