Verified by 
Key points
- A single image in a dream can encapsulate a core difference in a relationship.
- The people who come to mind when discussing a dream are not random and are as relevant as if they did appear.
- Dreams reveal hidden feelings with an eye toward bringing the discussion outside, where brainstorming begins.
The Birdwatcher dreamed of seeing beautiful birds through the window, but when he called his girlfriend to come and see, she didn’t share his enthusiasm. The discussion of his dream brought forth a real-life difficulty and initiated the process of this dreamer considering his options. Further discussion unearthed a second waking situation that triggered this dream, and, possibly, a broader field of solutions.
The Dream
There was a beautiful cardinal in the tree outside the window. I called my girlfriend to hurry and come see it. It waited, but she didn't hurry, and I kept telling her to come.
She finally came, no hurry. When she got to the window the cardinal was gone but there was a white bird in its place. She said, "That's nice." I replied, “Yes, but it's not the cardinal,” and tried to point out two other pretty birds on more distant branches, but she wasn't interested in birds anyway...
The Discussion
I started our conversation with the question, “Is this your current girlfriend?” and added, “How did you feel in this dream?”
The Birdwatcher responded, “Yes, she is my girlfriend. As for my feelings, I was excited as always seeing a red cardinal. I was trying to rush her to see the beautiful bird, but, while I am used to her tarrying, I kept hoping the bird would wait.
“I was a bit annoyed that she came so slowly. She doesn’t share my appreciation for things like a full moon or sunset. When the white bird was there, I was excited, but my girlfriend didn’t take a second glance.”
I suggested, “Name three things that come to mind about cardinals.”
The Birdwatcher answered, “Male cardinals are brightly coloured to distract predators from the drab females and juveniles. They look larger and more robust than they are. I’ve actually held one that had stunned itself hitting my window, and they are quite delicate. I always brighten up when I see them.”
I offered, “Now that we captured your feelings for cardinals, let’s look for how this dream reflects an event in your waking life. Can you think of a recent situation in which you were excited at the start and perhaps wanted to share your excitement but ended by feeling annoyed? Your dream has a ‘missed opportunity’ quality. Does this basic plot bring a recent event to mind?”
The Birdwatcher considered my question. “Hmm, yes. Saturday night after a good but late dinner, I went back to my girlfriend’s place. We went to bed but didn’t pursue things as it was already late, and I felt the need to go home. My son who is 35 has autistic characteristics and is not totally independent. He was waiting for me to come home.”
I inquired, “Do you think your son might be associated with the cardinal in your dream? It seems like he could be distracting you from staying with her. In other words, he’s like the brightly colored male who ‘distracts you from drab females.’”
The Birdwatcher explained, “My son loves everyone, but in my relationship with my girlfriend, he is a roadblock for us to move in together. In this way, he does distract me from her. The idea of a connection between the cardinal and my son also fits my description of how they look larger and more robust than they are.”
I wondered, “In the dream, your girlfriend isn’t rushing to see the cardinal. In fact, she’s overall not interested. Does that seem to fit her concern, or perhaps lack of it, about your son being on his own?”
He exclaimed, “So much so! Caring for my son makes it hard for me to go away with her. She spends March in Florida. I went for two weeks. Next year, she wants me to go for two months. As for ‘drab females,’ I’d say, after years together, I do see the faults in my girlfriend’s character, but, as many married people do, I’ve learned to accept them to a point.”
I reflected, “If you yourself become the cardinal, flying away before your girlfriend comes to see you, where does this dream take you? Does it encourage you to feel settled and comfortable about leaving her to travel alone, or is it calling on you to join her in her travels and make alternative arrangements for your son? You might even consider including him with the two of you.
“Your dream seems to encourage you to bring your feelings and ideas out into the forefront rather than allow them to fall into the background of ‘distant branches.’”
The Birdwatcher didn’t hesitate. “So much to think about here, especially this week: A woman contacted me who I knew from summer camp. She was 15, I was 17. Our age difference at the time was not appropriate, so we didn't get more involved. She mentioned meeting for a coffee and while I first thought not, as I have a girlfriend, I am now thinking I should perhaps meet with her anyway—and I probably will.”
What We Can Learn
This dream, like so many others, encourages the dreamer to take his interior discussion out to waking life. That’s where feedback can happen and, along with it, new associations and possibilities. In other words, it’s time to discuss. In fact, the process of dream analysis has led the Birdwatcher to place his dissatisfaction within a different framework and then set him on the path of consciously considering all the options open to him.
