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Key points
- Plays on words and puns in dreams can often help people unravel the meaning of their dreams.
- The language of metaphor in dreams can take a simple image and capture a world of meaning.
- Masking authentic feelings often gets in the way of having a truly good time, but dreams can help people gain insight.
A client of mine, Rayna, recently had a dream about being stopped by a customs inspector, in which her feelings of anger, frustration, and guilt quickly pointed her to a waking situation that was troubling her. Additionally, the play on the words of being "stopped" by "customs" brought her back to the same situation.
As Rayna found, a lack of self-expression in waking life can trigger a dream that points in multiple ways to the difficult feelings the dreamer is suppressing. In this case, the dream also references a life experience shared by many in our society. As in so many other examples, sharing her feelings can allow the dreamer to seek support from loved ones and realize that her feelings are natural and maybe even "customary."
The Dream
I was recently on a cruise and the night before we docked to visit Haifa, I dreamed I was in line at security and was stopped by the customs inspector, who was about to lift off my fake nails!
The Discussion
I first asked Rayna, “How did you feel in that dream? When they lifted your nails, did it hurt? Did you scream?”
She responded, “I was very angry and frustrated. You can add a dash of guilt to that at being caught! They never actually lifted my nails because it was something I knew was about to happen, but I woke up first.”
Hoping to help Rayna connect her dream, I prompted, “Since a nightmare so often serves the purpose of grabbing your attention, can you think of some recent, waking situation where you felt anger or frustration and maybe guilt? We are looking for emotions you were perhaps not expressing.”
Rayna considered my question. “Perhaps this dream is related to my mom. She lives in elder care, so I don’t worry in that regard when I travel, but I am the one who visits her. We lost my sister not long ago and now I'm the only one. Honestly, I worry if she will stay well while I am away.
"Besides becoming frustrated with my lack of control on this issue, often my frustration couples with aggravation. I almost feel as though my days of enjoying a carefree vacation are no longer. Well, I should add guilt-free to that.”
I asked, “Have you been discussing these feelings with your husband or with a friend or even your mom?”
Her response came quickly. “No. I haven’t. I suppose I’m not so comfortable discussing my frustration about the matter. It all seems trite when you measure it against my sister's passing. Visiting my mom is part of my responsibility and especially now that I'm an only child, it would seem customary for me to fulfill this role alone.”
Hearing Rayna’s expression sent me immediately to the language of her dream, and I offered, “Did you say, ‘customary’?”
Both Rayna and I smiled, realizing her intelligent, almost humorous use of the customs inspector as a play on words in her dream.
“How do you think your dream discussion may have benefitted from using fake nails as a metaphor?”
“Perhaps because I try to cover over my true feelings of guilt and frustration and instead keep a happy face, especially because we are travelling with friends and I like to send good feelings out, in particular for my husband! After all, we are on vacation!”
I summed up, offering, “So it’s the customs officer who wants to remove the fake nails with the intention of revealing the truth that's hiding just under the surface.”
The interpretation clicked for Rayna, who answered, “Yes. Precisely.”
What We Can Learn
By choosing the plot about being “stopped” by a customs inspector, Rayna’s dream pointed her to her own inner conflict about whether it is or should be customary for her to be traveling during this time, hence, her frustration and feelings of guilt.
Simultaneously, her dream’s plot reveals a comment to herself about how it’s better to lift the nails and show the truth!
The dream’s lesson is to speak up. While an inner conflict won't be resolved by expressing her feelings, it could help Rayna accept those feelings, as well as receive support from loved ones like her husband.
While she worries her feelings concerning her mom could reflect badly on her given what she considers her customary obligations, Rayna might find that her feelings in this situation are natural and shared by many others.
Being honest about feelings, especially anger, frustration, or guilt, frees the energy tied up inside the conflict. In the end, expressing her feelings during a trip could help Rayna to relax. She wouldn't need to reveal herself to her mom directly. Simply speaking to her husband and perhaps their travel friends would help relieve some of her inner turmoil and allow her to receive emotional support.
