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Gifted Children: Life After the Pandemic
Transitional issues that will need to be worked on.
Posted April 6, 2022 Reviewed by Gary Drevitch
The pandemic, and all of the circumstances related to keeping people safe from it, have caused serious disruptions and overwhelming stress. Children and their families have had to adjust to a totally different way of life. From being homeschooled by their parents or learning online while missing contact with their school friends, to having to wear masks and being hyper-concerned about hygiene and social distancing, anxiety and fear about the predictability of their lives has been very apparent. Now, loneliness and confusion about safety and predictability are affecting kids' transition back to school.
Why Gifted Kids Are Having a Harder Time
Children learn differently, and there is no one-size-fits-all way to teach. Curriculum and instruction varies depending on developmental needs, parental effectiveness, and the cultural values that surround a child (McNeil, J.D. and Schave, B. 1985; Wulf, K. and Schave, B. 1983). For parent-educators, classroom teachers who know well your student’s particular characteristics and qualities are crucial to optimal development. In my consulting experiences over the last 36 years, I have observed how sensitivity, intensity and perfectionism are central to children’s personalities (Klein, B. 2003, 2007).
Again, different manifestations of giftedness can be seen clearly in gifted children. From my recent consulting experiences I have seen that gifted kids have suffered from the lockdown rules and restrictions. They are often more sensitive and aware of what might go wrong because of their ability to understand the world at a more advanced level. As well, gifted children tend to be emotionally intense and experience their life problems with more understanding and anxiety than peers.
Following are some of the issues that gifted children are experiencing now; these issues may apply to all children in some way, but are more profound with gifted children and adolescents.
Anxiety About Returning to School
The most common problem I am aware of from talking with children and their parents has been, and remains, the fear of not being able to go to school both for learning and spending time with friends. I think that apart from children’s loneliness was the fear that the virus was getting more serious and staying home proved that no matter what parents and teachers told them there was serious danger in their world.
Still, missing the companionship of peers was extremely difficult for children and teenagers alike. Just a simple playdate seemed to reduce children's observable anxiety more effectively than all of the speeches that parents and teachers gave to children to reassure them that life would return to normal. Said more simply, being at school showed students that school would exist in spite of Covid. This reassurance was incredibly positive.
Anxiety About Going to School
Because of their emotional intensity, gifted kids often have greater levels of separation anxiety, which is most often managed by parental empathy and routines centered around leaving the house and coming home. And so, going back to school created a resurgence of serious separation anxiety issues — most commonly, children missing their parents and their home lives. Kids and teenagers were also worried about re-joining friends in masks, as wearing masks was not a normal way of interacting with each other. General social anxiety could be seen in the classroom and during free time such as lunch and recess.
Anxiety about what was safe in the classroom if some children were not wearing a mask was certainly a huge concern. The dangers of being too physically close to other students, teachers, teaching aides, and administrators also created anxiety, which was promoted by parents, teachers, social media, and television. While all children were subject to this anxiety, gifted children were more able to articulate these fears and act on them.
Boredom with Online Learning
Boredom with learning on the computer was an ongoing problem, which varied from child to child. When parents were available for questions and support the process was more successful. Overall, children and teenagers found ways to beat the “computer learning system” and talk to their friends or watch videos during classroom teaching hours. Sadly, in my experience, students enjoyed getting out of their school work, which was far more interesting to them than the school lessons that they were supposed to be learning.
A great deal of energy was put into how to best teach students online through teacher training and the set up of complicated technological learning techniques. Still, having friends in person could not be replaced by the best and latest strategies that technology could provide. Zoom is not reality, and the computer screen is a very flat world.
All children suffered, but gifted children who have social and emotional issues were and remain more vulnerable to loss of motivation and withdrawal when friendships become more erratic (Klein 2007).
Going Back to School Without Masks
When children, teachers, administrators, and support staff went back to school without masks there was a great deal of anxiety about safety, and what might go wrong. Although it seemed like students were happy to see their friends and teachers again, there was a great deal of hesitation and frustration about the process of getting to school and being in school. Kids now had to get up and get dressed in the morning. Getting to school on time and handing in homework created a new-old pressure. Socializing with friends, although fun, could be stressful as well.
What You Can Do Now for Your Child’s Emotional Well-Being
When parents went back to work, children went back to school. Home life changed as parents had less in-house responsibility, but new emotional problems emerged as children had school adjustment problems. These problems continue in some ways as we relearn the new-old way of educating students.
Here are some suggestions to make the transition to a more traditional school environment less stressful:
- Keep in mind what your children or teenagers have been through the last couple of years and be as patient as possible with their unhappiness and complaints. I don't mean that you should give in to their not wanting to get ready for school or do homework. I do suggest that you monitor their homework and give them extra time and help as they readjust to dressing in school clothes and not their pajamas. Empathy for their concerns about the new approach to going back to the old ways will help a lot. Keep in mind that friendship issues are real even though you may think you are just living through last year’s issues with friends.
- Getting into the car on time with lunch and books in hand can be a big problem because your kids have to relearn how to plan their time effectively.
- Disorganization and apathy about school issues should be addressed with compassion and extra thoughtfulness. Being supportive and positive will be more useful than sharing your own frustration.
- Stay calm when children are distracted by friends and computers. Set realistic limits on the amount of distraction you will allow them to have.
- Make family time an important time to discuss your children's thoughts and feelings.
Remember that the transitional process from home to school will take a great deal of time and energy for everybody – students, teachers, and parents. There will be progress, and then there will be setbacks. Helping your children reignite friendships and stay focused on schoolwork should be your priority. If you can find what motivates your son or daughter, use that approach. Make sure that homework and other schoolwork is actually being completed.
I am starting a group to help parents work through transition problems with their children. To learn more, click here.
