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When Gifted Children Return to School
Taking a positive approach with your children's teachers and friends.
Posted June 28, 2021 Reviewed by Davia Sills
Key points
- The transition back to in-person learning after the pandemic may be particularly hard on gifted children who feel the separation more intensely.
- With teachers more focused on kids who need help to catch up, parents may need to take more active steps to help their gifted child.
- Encouraging a child's interests, planning a project or field trip, and joining a supportive community are all ways that parents can help.
As children return to camp and school for summer and autumn, there will be a huge and unknown transition from lockdowns and computer learning to in-person schooling. From my consulting experiences, since schools were closed, I can say without any hesitation that the time away from learning in the classroom and socialization with friends has been enormously upsetting for young people and their families. Loneliness stemming from not being able to be with friends, boredom from the lackluster computer-driven curriculum, and too much time at home for kids and Mom and Dad has affected all students and their parents.
There are some stressors that gifted children have experienced that are different and more intense than for non-gifted children. Gifted children are capable of understanding how deadly serious the coronavirus is, which makes them even more concerned about their future. Also, very smart children are highly sensitive and suffer separation anxiety more deeply than less intense classmates.
Leaving home to go back to school may be a fearful experience for highly emotionally gifted kids. In fact, missing school and friends during the lockdowns, and then missing their homes and parents when school resumes, can create intense anxiety that is often hard for young children and teenagers to explain to others. While enormous effort has been put in by teachers and families to help comfort children and teenagers, there is only so much that can be done to restore a sense of normality and hope for the future.
Why do gifted children get ignored?
A characteristic of giftedness that is often dismissed by the public and private schools is the need for academic and creative challenges, which have become a bigger problem with the lengthy lockdowns. In my opinion, gifted children's needs always come last in a school setting. Teachers and administrators think about the children and teenagers who have fallen behind. Catching up children who have not been able to achieve takes up all of their energy. An attitude that gifted children do not need extra help is adopted, and procedures to help make school more challenging are easily dismissed. What I am saying may sound negative, but my opinion is truly the result of my experience over the years of working as an educator of the gifted.
Parents need to take this lack of challenge seriously. Unfortunately, parents do not always have the “tools” they need to educate teachers and administrators, who are probably not at all concerned. So if you are worried about what your smart kid is getting out of school, you are not alone. Countless families face almost hostile and/or indifferent teachers and administrators when parents ask, “How are you encouraging my child to stretch his mind?”
Here are some solutions that might help you. My solutions have worked for many families who have consulted with me over the years as I have researched and written about how to develop and enhance giftedness.
Suggestions for challenging gifted kids in the aftermath of the coronavirus
In general, memorize the fact that you and your family are not alone in “figuring out” the transition back to in-person schooling. Countless families are trying to enhance their children's sense of self and the world. Finding new intellectual and emotional challenges is a serious research project that will take patience and persistence. Finding activities and other children who are like your child is an enormous but very doable chore that you can accomplish if you try. You ask, “What exactly can I do?” So here goes.
1. Find families with gifted kids who like what your child likes, interest-wise. You can do this! There is a large community of gifted parents and homeschooling parents who know about all of the best classes and teachers for their child and your child. Find them. Meet them. Follow what they have to say, even if you are skeptical.
2. Talk seriously with your son or daughter about what kind of classes or projects are of interest to them. Ask them questions like, “Why are you interested in global warming?”
“Why are you interested in social justice?”
“Why do you want to go to Alaska?”
3. Search and find classes available for gifted kids on the internet or in your neighborhood.
4. With your child's input, select some classes that he or she wants to try.
5. Plan how the classes will fit into your summer schedule and do them.
6. Try other classes if your child seems indifferent or annoyed. And don't give up.
7. Remember, gifted kids are perfectionistic, and they will decide before they even try that they won't be able to do the new class. Don't give in to them. Say to them, “Try it. Give it a try.”
8. Plan field trips and home projects to do as a team.
9. Give your child a journal to write in and make sure they write every morning or night. The journal should be private.
In conclusion, gifted kids do better at home and at school when they are challenged. Boredom and repetition will certainly make the transition to school much harder, and home life will suffer from their frustration and yours. When friendships are available, this will also calm down your son or daughter. As hard as it may be to follow these suggestions, I hope you will give it a try, as these suggestions have worked with other families.
