The Blessing of a Professional Crisis

Over the past 25 years, I’ve personally experienced several professional crises—events that presented significant, potentially career-ending challenges.

My first attempt at entering the field of clinical psychology was a crisis in itself. I applied to 27 graduate school programs and didn’t get into one. Then, my first scientific article was rejected by editors and peer-review scholars a dozen times and, in fact, never made it into print.

Years later, I experienced a similar hurdle with my doctoral internship, a rite of passage, and a requirement for graduation. Again, I was rejected from each program to which I initially applied. Finally, after graduating, getting my psychology license, and starting my career as a practicing psychologist, I started a private practice. I did not have a single patient for three painful months. I vividly remember taking the train home, convinced that I would never be successful.

Looking back at these crises, I can say things worked out well. In fact, in every instance, professional opportunities arose that would have never materialized had I not had a crisis in the first place.

• After being rejected from all of the graduate schools I initially applied to, I ended up at Bowling Green State University, working with Ken Pargament, a luminary in the field.
• My early failures as a peer-reviewed scholar were growing pains, which created grit and refined my writing capabilities. I have since published over 120 articles or chapters, including pieces in journals such as Lancet Psychiatry, the Journal of Consulting & Clinical Psychology, and popular outlets including the Wall Street Journal and Scientific American (Psychology Today).
• Being rejected by doctoral internships led me to extend my graduate studies for one year, enabling me to develop my research and clinical training program further. As a result, I ended up at Harvard Medical School’s flagship psychiatric teaching facility, McLean Hospital, where I remain on faculty to this day.
• From my humble beginnings in private practice, I met a philanthropist who inspired me to focus on my mission and values more than day-to-day productivity. This set me on a pathway that has been critical in the growth of the Center for Anxiety, which is now one of the largest private practices in the Northeastern United States, with 50 clinicians servicing over 1,000 patients a year in seven offices spread across three states.

Today, I am facing yet another professional crisis, inspiring this reflection. I’ll spare readers the gory details as I still work through the challenges.

Glimmers of Hope

Fortunately, there are glimmers of hope, a warm glow from fiery embers, and I feel much more centered than just a few weeks ago. But the nights remain long, and the light of day is not yet shining. Much remains uncertain, messy, and trying. I am struggling and in pain. In darker moments, I experience self-doubt, self-blame, regret, sadness, and anxiety.

As a clinical psychologist, I have been trained to focus on what the data says: Four out of four times, over a span of two and a half decades, each of my professional crises was a harbinger of great blessings. On zero occasions, the crisis was unresolved and had a lasting negative impact. Simply remembering and thinking about these facts has been an incredible salve.

To be clear, I do not know what will ultimately come from the current struggles I am facing. That’s exactly what makes for a good crisis: One cannot know the resolution in the midst of struggle. But, I do have faith that things will turn out well in the end since they always have.

Acceptance and Growth

I’m already growing from the current challenges.

I’ve become more accepting of my emotions. I have very good reason to feel sad, anxious, and distressed at this time. These internal struggles don’t mean that I’m sick or ill. On the contrary, my distress is perfectly normal, given the situation I’m going through. Thinking through all this has given me more inner peace and self-acceptance.

I’ve been spending a lot of time speaking with my wonderful wife, Miri, which has brought us closer together. I’ve also connected more closely with my parents, whose sage counsel has been indispensable. My mentors have also been a wonderful support. Support colleagues at the Center for Anxiety have risen to the challenge of supporting me and our practice at this critical and challenging time. I will never forget their compassion and kindness.

Beyond these connections, I’ve found meaning and solace in my spiritual beliefs. Just as in each previous crisis, I’ve learned much about myself and the world and refocused my mind on who I truly want to be.

In sum, professional challenges and the distressing emotions they engender can be a catalyst for thriving. Throughout my career, confronting professional challenges has prompted me to redirect my efforts in new ways, which has yielded better results than had things gone smoothly. The anxiety, stress, sadness, and other emotions I’ve faced, however unpleasant, have helped me to learn and grow. As with previous crises, I know that opportunities for personal and professional growth will emerge from this challenging time.

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In the interim, I will do my best to persevere through the current darkness until the light of day shines brightly again.