8 Things That Keep People From Cheating

Source: Jacob Lund/Shutterstock

A Google search of why people cheat on their partners will yield hundreds of posts with such titles as “Five Reasons People Cheat” or “The Three Excuses Cheaters Use.” Often the confirmation bias is readily evident in these posts, and even in some of the scientific studies to be found. If you read the comments on these posts, the readers often contribute far more than the three or five reasons given by the author. It doesn’t take much effort in either qualitative or quantitative research to identify a multitude of factors that have a role in the decision to commit infidelity.

A study by Apostolou and Panayiotou (2019) originated with the question: What are the reasons that motivate people not to cheat on their partners? In interviews with 576 study participants, the authors identified, through a mixed-methods approach, 47 reasons that participants used to explain what prevented them from cheating. Apart from in-depth interviews, the researchers also employed a survey that asked respondents to identify at least five reasons that prevented them from cheating in any relationship they have had. Once the reasons had been identified, the researchers classified the 47 reasons into eight broad factors and an additional two domains consisting of:

• The benefit-fitness of the relationship
• The costs of cheating to the relationship.

The broad factors consisting of the 47 reasons provided as motivators against cheating included:

1. Satisfaction with relationship
2. Feelings of guilt
3. Fear that it would happen to them
4. No provocation
5. Fear of partners’ reaction
6. Feeling of shame if it gets out
7. Not wanting to get in trouble
8. Social stigma [for a complete list of the reasons that make up these factor categories, I refer you to the original study].

Perhaps not surprisingly, the researchers found that individuals were less likely to cheat if the relationship had high benefits and cheating would be high in costs. In turn, those who were motivated to cheat worked within a low benefit-low cost strategy. The potential costs for women were found to be a partner’s reactions and social stigma. An increase of benefits for men to cheat was thought to be found in increased access to sexual partners.

Aside from the cost-benefit analysis often associated with exchange theory, women in the study indicated a lower motivation to cheat than men if they were satisfied with their relationship and if they were concerned about feelings of guilt. Study participants were found to be less likely to commit infidelity the higher they scored in conscientiousness. Whereas, participants scoring high in openness, with its willingness to have new experiences, had a higher likelihood of cheating. Overall, women were less motivated to commit infidelity when they scored high in conscientiousness, low in openness, were satisfied with their relationships, and were situated in an environment where women who cheat are negatively impacted by social stigmatization. Men were found to be more motivated to cheat when they scored low in conscientiousness, high in openness, were not in satisfactory relationships, and were not concerned about being socially stigmatized, due to the standards of their social environment.

Can we call an end to all the reasons people are motivated to cheat on their intimate partners? Hardly. The factors identified in this study do not provide all the motivators. Offhand, I can think of several. And I am certain that the readers of this post will write to me about their own reasons and experiences surrounding those reasons (of course, feel free to write).

The authors of the study recognize the limitations of their work. They point out that cultural factors need to be taken into account and further explored. For instance, how do cheating strategies vary from cultures that deem infidelity to be a punishable crime from those that do not? And, how much does the saturation of religious dogma play a role from one culture to another? In fact, the study by Apostolou and Panayiotou was conducted in Greece where the authors report > 55 percent of Greek-Cypriot men and women indicated a high propensity to commit infidelity. In comparison to the US, several studies find one in three men and one in five women are likely to cheat over the life course.

Additionally, when interviewing or surveying someone about why they do or do not cheat, the assumption is that they are aware of the impetus behind their decisions and actions. This is not always the case. Some people act without a clear understanding of the incentive behind their actions. The study by Apostolou and Panayiotou adds to the compendium of scholarship concerning infidelity, but it also serves to inspire and compel more work to be done by researchers.

Facebook image: Jacob Lund/Shutterstock