How to Overcome Rejection

Source: NAITZTOYA / Adobe Stock Photos

Your dreams have been shattered into a million pieces. You were rejected and feel overwhelmed, unable to experience the unbearable hurt. You think, “I will never be able to overcome such pain. I am not going to find love again.”

Rejection can be devastating. When a relationship ends with rejection, we are thrown into an abyss where there’s nothing concrete to land on. Falling into the void is disorienting, and we are uncertain when and where we will land on our feet and find a safe haven.

Rejection creates an emotional roller coaster. We feel the grief, sadness, anger, and loss of the person who rejected us, and also our ego and self-esteem are hurt. This is why getting over a rejection is challenging. While there is no quick fix, the following suggestions can help you overcome the disorientation and ease the pain of rejection.

How to Ease the Pain of Rejection

• Feel it to heal it. People tend to avoid their pain. There is no healing without feeling your feelings. There is no healing without grieving. You must go through the feelings to heal. Let yourself feel the loss and the pain and express your difficult emotions. You should know that you are strong enough and can face pain with courage to heal and grow.
• Use the power of breath. Breath is connected to the body, emotions, and thoughts, and each one affects the others. Deep-conscious breaths help you absorb the feelings and restore a sense of calm. Mindful breathing is one of the most powerful and accessible resources for self-regulation, relaxation, and overall well-being. You can also use your breath to anchor yourself and move your attention from disturbing thoughts back to your breath.
• Mourn and let your tears speak. The grieving process is an important part of healing and learning to adjust to life without someone you love so deeply. This is a time to mourn and shed tears. Be vulnerable and express your feelings and tears without judgment. Don’t hold back and bottle them up. Share your hurt and talk it out. A good cry releases your pain and cleanses your spirit.
• Be with your loved ones. During difficult times, it is important to gain social and emotional support. A strong support system helps you be more grounded and promotes healing. Surround yourself with an environment conducive to your well-being by welcoming support and compassion from friends and family. As a social being, connecting to loved ones is necessary.
• Don't take it too personally. We are all rejected at some time. Yes, the ego gets hurt, and the ego makes it personal, yet it does not change our essence—our basic human value. The rejection doesn't mean that we aren't good enough. While you should see and accept your contribution to the relationship dissolution, there are many other reasons for a breakup. It could be wrong timing. It could be a lack of compatibility. It could be that certain needs or wants were missing. Simply said, don’t take it too personally.
• Embrace the void. Rejection creates a void. There is discomfort in the void, often bordering on pain. Yet, it is necessary to be in the emptiness. If we rush the process of grief, we may experience unresolved pain and carry our issues into future relationships. When we become still in the void and observe without judgment, we gain wisdom. It allows us to do the inner work, realize the hooks to the past, and then let go of it.
• Take it one moment at a time. It takes time to heal and for the hurt to subside. In the abyss, it is hard to think too far, so be patient during this difficult period. Unfortunately, today, we live in the fast lane. We don’t have patience and we want things to happen immediately. Patience is a lost art. With time, the sense of loss and hurt will ease.
• Create a healthy environment. Create an environment that is conducive to your well-being. A healing environment requires care for the whole person: body, mind, and spirit. For example, cut the clutter, enhance the lighting in your home, spend time in nature, and listen to uplifting music. Along with your physical space, consider your inner environment as well. Be kind, optimistic, and creative, and set positive intentions.
• Give to others. The acts of serving and giving to others are powerful and helpful. When you support others, especially during difficult times, something inside you also starts to heal and grow. Helping others provides purpose and satisfaction. When you connect with people who are less fortunate than yourself, you start to realize that your pain is less significant. Giving to others also empowers you. It gives you a sense of self-worth and moves you away from your hurt.
• Engage with life and keep busy. Staying engaged in life improves your self-esteem and helps you recover more quickly. Be proactive and look for activities that you enjoy. This may include working out in the gym, joining a book club, or building new friendships. Also, engaging in a creative process such as writing, painting, or making music allows you to have fun and find meaning. In general, you will feel less disheartened when you keep moving, creating, and contributing. So, even if you are broken, keep moving!
• Cultivate gratitude. Gratitude is an antidote to pain. Pain is about what we are missing. Gratitude is about what we are having. If we focus on the negative, we will see the negatives. If we focus on the positive, we will see the positives. Those who show gratitude, cultivate a positive perspective, and appreciate their situation minimize their pain and create more happy moments in their lives.
• Jot in a journal. Journaling provides a safe place without fear of judgment or misunderstanding. In moments of grief and loss, the weight of emotions can be overwhelming. Writing is a powerful tool for healing. Journaling allows individuals to explore their thoughts, feelings, and memories; process their experiences; and find relief in the midst of pain.
• Seek grief counseling. In some cases, you may need grief counseling. Grief counselors will help you express your feelings, alleviate stress, cultivate healthy habits, and adapt to a new life that is worth living. The counselor will provide professional support and be by your side, guiding you through the difficult journey toward healing.

Conclusion

Getting over a rejection is hard. However, your pain won’t last forever. It is there to make you grow. Everyone heals from rejection at their own pace in their own way. We are all suffering in one way or another at one time or another. We must have compassion for ourselves and accept that reality. It's important to take your time to deal with rejection and to use the practices suggested to heal and move on to the new opportunities life presents us. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.