The Call for Community Tables

Source: Elaine Dundon, used with permission

I have often wondered why there are not more community tables in restaurants and cafeterias. Given the increased focus on the twin topics of digitalization and loneliness and their impact on our mental and physical health, it’s time to find more ways to encourage in-person social connections.

Community tables are not a new concept. Sharing a table with a stranger is also not a new concept. Communal tables have been part of our dining experiences going back hundreds of years, where large tables seating from four to 20+ people were the norm. As our society became wealthier, space became a status symbol as more people opted to sit at their table, some in their restaurant section, some in private dining rooms.

This move mirrored a greater separation in society as people transitioned to private cars instead of shared transportation, single-family dwellings instead of shared accommodations, ownership of household tools instead of sharing tools with neighbors, and preoccupation with their worlds via laptops and smartphones, etc.–all symbols of the shift to individualization and away from the collective. With these shifts came more detachment and a greater sense of loneliness. As a result, our communities are suffering.

There is a difference between a shared table and a community table. On a trip to New York City, I ventured into a Starbucks, which happened to have a large table around which ten people were seated. For over 15 minutes, I observed that no one was interacting with each other–all were busy fiddling with their laptops and smartphones. No one acknowledged the human being sitting right beside them. They were together but alone.

I reflected on the original concept of Starbucks (which its founder, Howard Schultz, modeled after the European café) and its recent transition from a relaxing coffeehouse to the takeaway model fashioned by the preorder app and less available seating. Was this transition driven by finances or modeled after research indicating that customers no longer wish to interact with other humans in a traditional coffee shop setting?

In contrast, Café Pasqual’s in Santa Fe, New Mexico, U.S.A. has a 12 person community table where solo diners are invited to sit and share conversations with others, including travelers from countries worldwide. I have enjoyed meeting some really fascinating people at this community table. I have observed that although some people may be apprehensive at first about being seated with strangers, most soon relax into the shared space and strike up interesting conversations. The community table serves as a catalyst to create a space where talking with strangers is encouraged.

At our deepest level, we are social beings; we long for community as a source of deeper meaning in our lives. We have many choices:

• We can choose not to go out and, instead, stay within what we perceive is the safety of our home.
• We can go to a restaurant with friends or alone, enjoying the experience.
• We can go to a restaurant alone and not enjoy the experience, perhaps awkwardly read a magazine or look down at videos on our phones during the meal, leaving us physically nourished but not socially or spiritually nourished.
• We can choose a restaurant or cafeteria with a community table and reach out, say hello, and share a conversation with someone new.

Owners of restaurants can make it easy for diners to enter and seek a seat at the community table and, as a result, encourage more interaction between diners. Renaming the table in sponsorship or with special themed events to attract diners with specific interests, such as Gardening, Travels, or Pets, may serve to break down barriers to stimulate conversation between diners.

Our villages or communities are built one conversation at a time. It is the conversation that binds us together. We need better ways to build our in-person communities, so we are not relying on everything digital. As I wrote in my award-winning book on the search for meaning entitled The OPA! Way,

If we do not emphasize what connects us, we will be divided.¹

Bringing back the concept of community tables is a great way to help us connect, share a laugh, learn about the world through others and, in the process, learn more about ourselves.