How the Best Mentees Succeed

Mentorship is a lifelong pursuit. We never stop needing a mentor, even when we become mentors. Mentors offer guidance, support, transfer of expertise, and act as models for mentees. But what is expected of a mentee, especially mentees who are already experts in their fields? Mentorship is a two-way street—a relationship—and without both parties actively engaging, it will not be an optimal experience for either party.

The American Psychological Association (2022) highlights three key "Do's" for mentees:

1. Set specific goals.

2. Be proactive. Make the initial calls and schedule future interactions.

3. Be professional. Be mindful of the mentor's time and feelings.

Prolific mentors who've had experience as mentors for decades weighed in on what makes a good mentee:

Bill Cheswick is a computer security and network researcher and prolific mentor who has experience mentoring all ages. He's an expert in internet security and the author of Firewalls and Internet Security. His advice for mentees is:

1. Do your homework! Learn about the mentor before contacting them. Learning about your mentor can be as simple as a LinkedIn or internet search to know more about them, what they do, and their expertise.

Dr. Jessica Broitman is a clinical psychologist, psychoanalyst, artist, author, and expert in non-verbal learning disabilities. She has mentored hundreds of clinicians for more than three decades. Her advice for mentees is:

1. Trust your mentor. Your mentor is your guide, and trust allows both the mentor and mentee to grow and learn together to create the best path possible for the mentee.

2. Allow for vulnerability. A mentor is someone you can feel safe with, and expressing vulnerability allows the mentor to help a mentee work on the things they feel most insecure about.

Dr. Bruce Y. Lee is a professor and executive director of the Center for Advanced Technology and Communication in Health at CUNY and a senior contributor for Forbes. His advice is:

1. View the mentor-mentee connection as long-term. A good mentee views a mentor-mentee connection as a long-term, potentially lifelong, one, rather than a short-term get-something-specific-and-then-move-on interaction.

2. Be open to multiple mentors. A good mentee is also available to different mentors rather than focused on very specific ones with preconceived notions. For example, in a given field, you can believe that you have to work specifically with so-and-so to get ahead when this is simply not the case.

The advice from a professional organization and professional mentors suggests that the mentee is an active, connected participant in a bidirectional relationship with their mentor(s). No one is ever too old to be mentored, and the principles for mentors and mentees remain the same across the lifespan. So, whether you are 16 or 76, you can enjoy the benefits of a mentor-mentee relationship!