Have a 'Happy New Year' by Not Searching for Happiness

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Hurray, it’s a new year! At least symbolically, this change is a great relief as the last three years have left an indelible mark on many people who are still trying to come out of an existential abyss. Although the recognizable signs of spring are not yet in the air, at least not in terms of the weather conditions, the emergence of 2023 portends spring-like conditions ahead as we wave goodbye to the trials and tribulations of the recent past.

Spring, as we know, is seen as a time of new life (both plant and animal) being born, as well as a time of growth and renewal. More generally, however, the spring season is perceived as a metaphor for the start of better times. So let’s begin spring—in our spirit, mind, and body—early this year. And let’s proclaim “'tis the season” to be optimistic and enthusiastic about the future.

To be sure, wanting people to be happy throughout the year is a meaningful resolution for the New Year that is well worth keeping. Good intentions notwithstanding, “happiness” has become sort of a buzzword these days. For instance, besides a plethora of books and other publications on the subject, the happiness theme can be seen in advertising campaigns by businesses intent on squeezing out as many dollars as possible from consumers. It is as if buying a particular product or service will make people happy as a result, no matter what their personal circumstances.

Now don’t get me wrong, I would like very much to see everyone be (and remain) happy. And, yes, I’m a true believer that the key to authentic happiness lies within all of us, and therefore is within reach. However, I just don’t believe that true happiness is a commodity that can be purchased, no matter what the price. Nor do I believe that happiness comes from simply embracing the lyrics of the 1988 Grammy Award-winning song, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy,” by musician Bobby McFerrin. As much as I like this song, I think that there is more to it than that. Much more.

Against the backdrop of the events of the past three years, there are still warning signs on the horizon that warrant serious concern, in society at large as well as in the American and global economies. Even people who are fortunate enough today to be gainfully employed are not necessarily “happy” in the face of so much change taking place, coupled with the uncertainty of what may lie ahead. And this sentiment applies not only to their personal lives but also to their work lives.

Indeed, job satisfaction, a correlate if not a proxy measure of happiness, remains stubbornly low as expectations related to the return to work—onsite (i.e., in person) versus remotely from home—continue to rise.¹Similarly, statistics on employee morale and engagement, which also are correlates of happiness at work, continue to leave much room for improvement.² There is increasing evidence that something much deeper and more significant, i.e., the search for meaning, is influencing human motivations in the workplace more than extrinsic rewards and incentives.³

Yet not all is gloom and doom by any means. At least this is the case if we exercise, in an authentic way, the ultimate human freedom to choose our attitude and view our circumstances, whatever they may be, through the lens of a “true optimist.”

Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our happiness.⁴

So our attitude, along the lines sung by McFerrin, definitely plays an important part in the pursuit of happiness, and helps to determine how well we are able to confront, i.e., respond to, life’s challenges, especially those that are considered to be formidable or unavoidable. Put differently, our choice of attitude helps to frame our inherent and intuitive capacity to be resilient to the ebb and flow of life no matter what the “season.”

Importantly, a person’s fixation on the pursuit of happiness—at any time of year—may actually backfire. The world-renowned psychiatrist and existential philosopher, Viktor E. Frankl, M.D., Ph.D., referred to this phenomenon as paradoxical intention.⁵ And while it may appear to be counterintuitive, Dr. Frankl observed the following about the human quest for both happiness and success:

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Don’t aim at success—the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue and it only does so as the unintended side-effect of one’s dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one’s surrender to a person other than oneself. Happiness must happen, and the same holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it.⁶

The new year offers us all new opportunities to let happiness happen by not caring about it. True happiness, as Dr. Frankl wisely espoused, comes from relating and being directed to something greater than or someone other than yourself—a timeless, meaning-centric principle known also as self-transcendence. In other words, 2023 can be the start of better times if we let happiness ensue (in a self-transcendent way) rather than try to pursue it.

So, as you begin the new year, stop searching for happiness and start searching for meaning instead.