5 Things Resilient People Do Differently

Co-written with Cindy Finch, LCSW

In the wake of our collective political, racial, financial, and healthcare challenges, the need for resiliency has never been more real. While some people seem to have it, some don’t. What’s the difference? This post explains the five things resilient people do differently.

1. First, they expect adversity. Look, this isn’t pessimism. It’s preparedness. Adversity happens, is the polite way to say it. Meet Cindy Finch, LCSW – my co-author on this post. She says, “It’s not only Murphy’s Law; it’s common sense. Either you’re experiencing a challenge now, just coming out of one, or one is on the way here right now.” The question remains – what are you going to do?

• What are you going to do when you receive negative feedback at work?
• What are you going to do when the sale doesn’t go through?
• What are you going to do when your big idea is shot down?
• What are you going to do when you get passed over for the promotion?
• What are you going to do when AI makes your job redundant?

In recent years, the trendy answer from a chorus of motivational speakers and workplace advisors has been...

“BE RESILIENT!”

Ok yeah, but how? Because to many, that just sounds an awful lot like saying, “Deal with it!” or “Toughen up, Buttercup!” or “You’ll power through.” But getting through adversity isn’t enough for resilient people.

2. Truly resilient people focus on growing through adversity. Because the truth is, we’re not just growing from our past struggles, we’re also growing for our future struggles. It’s not about bouncing back. It’s about bouncing forward. Finch loving calls this “Pre-Traumatic Growth” or sometimes just simply, “PREsilience.” Our current difficulties act as the fertilizer for our future harvests. Chris Waugh, the Chief Innovation Officer at Sutter Health exemplifies this trait, saying, “You’ve got to pad your resiliency escrow account. Opportunities to build resilience are perishable. The right perspective is crucial so that they aren’t missed.”

3. Resilient people don’t go it alone. They acknowledge their need for help and they accept it. They have a support system. Rebecca Hodges, Sr. VP at Axes.ai and Head of HR believes that the workplace has an opportunity to be that support system. “People must understand the landscape to thrive within it. HR’s role is guiding this understanding.”

4. Resilient organizations don’t expect resilience to just walk in the door. For an organization to be resilient, adaptable, and agile, its individual members must be resilient, adaptable, and agile. As author and business speaker Glenn Llopis says, “An organization’s resilience is limited by its least resilient individual.” This is not a hiring challenge, but a training challenge. But championing resilience isn’t easy and could involve many component parts. For example, Andy Sulick is the president of a private school, and he says, “A comprehensive approach is required: Therapy, parent resources, text tip lines, emergency services, student mentors, and access to a pediatric-only mental health emergency room.”

5. Finally, resilient people choose the path of most resilience. They see the uphill climb ahead of them and they walk it anyway because they know it’s worth it. Through decades of private practice, writing, and surviving a terminal diagnosis, Cindy Finch has managed to map out what the path of most resilience looks like. “Let’s grow through what we go through, and reap all the benefits of the climb,” she says.

Cindy Finch

The exact steps of the climb are important, but beyond the scope of this post. What’s relevant here is the choice to walk it; even if it's daunting. Choosing resilience over reaction and aligning yourself with reality instead of avoiding it — that’s what resilient people do differently. Let’s bounce!

Resilience Essential Reads

The Complex Profile of Resilience

A Surprising Path to Resilience: Your Gut

Take your own resiliency assessment here: www.CindyFinch.com