When the Voyeur Enters the Scene: The Promise of Virtual Reality Porn

My first experience with virtual reality blew my mind. My husband and I were at an Oculus shop in New York City. The shop gave consumers the opportunity to personally experience different VR games before purchasing them. I watched my husband fight off aliens, a game which for me held little appeal. I decided to experience “Walk the Plank” since all I had to do was walk straight for about six feet on a piece of plywood. The challenge was to ignore the fact that when looking through my VR glasses, the plank appeared to be extending from the elevator 40 floors above a NYC street. I felt confident though, since I’ve never been afraid of heights and the very nice woman running the game promised to stand next to me throughout my aerial adventure.

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With my VR glasses on, I suddenly felt like I was standing in an elevator speeding up 40 flights. As a result, I felt a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Nonetheless, I was up for the challenge. When the elevator doors opened, nothing prepared me for the fear that consumed my body. I immediately and instinctively gripped the woman running the game around the waist, holding her in a bear hug. It was hilarious, yet my body was petrified. I knew full well I was standing on the ground with my husband laughing beside me, yet I couldn’t let go of my kindhearted oculus lifeline even long enough to take my glasses off!

After some coaxing and failed attempts to get me walking on the plywood, she took off my glasses for me, and in return I was able to let her go. This was my entrée into the fascinating world of VR. Since this time, I purchased my own glasses — and I’ve been busy! I’ve scaled a treacherous mountain, hung out with pandas in China, walked a bustling street in Amsterdam, and even sat with a Ukrainian woman describing horrendous war experiences. All of these experiences remain vivid in my mind.

I’ve also watched VR porn. VR continues to amaze me because although you cognitively know exactly what’s going on, your body doesn’t get the memo, nor does your body care what you are thinking. Instead, your body bypasses your thoughts, taking its marching orders from your senses. In this case, what you see and hear is so powerfully realistic that you feel physical sensation, even knowing it isn’t real. From your vantage point in VR porn, it literally feels like the actress is walking towards you, whispering in your ear, looking into your eyes, sitting on your lap, and touching your body. This is quite a different experience from watching an actress move about on the screen of your laptop.

And early research on the impact of VR is consistent with this felt sense of intensity. For example, one study found that men (but not women) experienced VR porn as more arousing than conventional porn. Another study suggested that oxytocin, commonly referred to as “the love hormone” (because it is released in intimate moments with another person such as after orgasm or when breastfeeding,) is released during VR porn but not in 2D. The authors speculated it is the experience of eye contact with the actress in VR that prompts the body to respond in this way.

According to Pornhub, the most popular English porn site in the world, VR is the fastest growing type of porn. We can speculate that this trend will only continue as more people have access to VR glasses. As a sex therapist, I wonder about the eventual impact of this powerful modality. Undoubtedly, as with most technological advances, some people will feel great benefit from it, while others will feel hurt by it. Will more people consider VR porn adultery since the experience feels more real and personal than traditional porn? Will committed couples find VR a powerful way to safely experience non-monogamy without literally engaging new partners? Right now, we have more questions than answers.

Many say that sex tech drives the tech industry, since there is so much money to be had by intensifying people’s sexual experiences. As sex tech advances, no doubt it will profoundly impact human intimate relationships, probably in both positive and negative ways that we can’t yet fully imagine. I find it fascinating to watch the future of intimacy unfold before our eyes.