Five Books to Help Anchor You in Uncertain Times

A new survey recently identified that 2017 was reportedly one of the gloomiest years in decades (as reported by Chokshi, 2018). In fact, the survey, which polled hundreds of thousands of people across the globe found that “more people reported negative experiences, defined as worry, stress, physical pain, anger or sadness, than at any point since 2005, when Gallup, the analytics and consulting company, introduced the survey” (Chokshi, 2018, para. 1).

There has, of course, been mounting evidence to suggest this. Drug addiction is ravaging communities in the United States, the political discourse is increasingly divisive and hostile, trusted institutions like the media and education systems are under attack, and there is a growing sense of uncertainty in individuals’ lives—be it because they are living under a struggling economy, uncertain or unstable leadership, climate change ravaging their geographic area, etc.

So how can an individual maintain their sense of stability in the midst of so much volatility and chaos? From the perspective of individual psychology, a critical feature of happiness and wellbeing is to maintain self-care and cultivate greater self-awareness. While no individual can solve the woes of our country or the larger global community, focusing on taking care of one’s own wellbeing is a critical first step in developing stronger communities.

With that in mind, I would like to recommend the following books as potential catalysts to spark your own personal growth and development. To be a better citizen, we must cultivate the skills and qualities required for a healthy sense of self, which will then enable us to be better at navigating our relationships, our jobs, and developing into leaders within our communities. Whether you are struggling with health-related issues, job performance professional fulfillment professionally, interpersonal conflicts, or all of the above, each of these books have been critical influencers in my own pursuit of growth and wellbeing. Moreover, any change we aspire for, whether on an individual or societal level, has to start with small shifts in our thinking and behavior, and each of these books offer significant guidance in that regard.

1. Thriving Through Uncertainty: Moving Beyond Fear of the Unknown and Making Change Work for You, by Tama J. Kieves. Currently on my nightstand, I have found this book to be transformative for many reasons. While Kieves’ primary focus is for individuals who are ready to make a change professionally, her overall message is to reject societal notions of what constitutes success and to follow your own inner voice for personal fulfillment and growth. She identifies that growth often occurs in difficult circumstances, and that rather than feeling sorry for ourselves or wishing our difficult life circumstances away, these obstacles are actually significant catalysts for positive changes depending on how we approach them.

Kieves very astutely identifies the way that our busy culture can be damaging, while also reminding us that there is not a universal blueprint for what constitutes success—every person must figure out for themselves what kind of life they want to lead, even if it means defying traditional conventions or social norms. There are also suggested activities embedded in each chapter for those readers who want to start participating immediately in facilitating positive changes in their own lives. While there are many quotable gems throughout her book, perhaps one of my favorites is when she writes, “Your search will bring you to yourself,” highlighting critically that the answers we seek often lie within ourselves. Alas, we have to be brave enough for that level of self-exploration to gain such answers.

2. Mind Over Medicine, by Dr. Lissa Rankin. I encountered this book when I was sending a care package to a close relative of mine who was recovering from a heart surgery that had unanticipated complications. He has since credited this book as saving his life while he was undergoing a very challenging recovery period. Dr. Rankin does a superb job in identifying the critical role that our mindset plays when we experience pain and illness. Trained as a medical doctor, she found herself disillusioned by the standard treatment plans for patient care and decided to explore alternative forms of medicine. Well researched and very accessibly written, she documents the significant role that psychology plays in whether or not we recover from medical conditions. Moreover, her analysis is empowering in that it identifies ways that patients who are suffering can take control of their health and train their minds for self-healing. A must-read for anyone who has struggled with their physical or mental health, or serves as a caretaker for others in their lives who are struggling because of medical conditions.

3. Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, by Dr. Harville Hendrix. One of many tidbits I learned from this book is that most couples who undergo couples’ therapy stop after the fifth session. And, unfortunately, the success rate for traditional couples’ therapy isn’t very good. Enter Dr. Hendrix, who has developed a form of couples’ therapy with an underlying psychoanalytic perspective. He identifies the root of many conflicts between couples as early childhood experiences we bring into our adult relationships. This is a very practical guide for couples that draws heavily on his own work with couples in addition to multiple perspectives in psychology and the social sciences. There are activities and exercises couples are encouraged to practice as they read through his book. In reading this book, I found that I was able to gain significant insight into my own triggers and insecurities that I bring into my relationships.

Whether you read this individually or embark on this examination with your significant other, the potential insights to gain will be transformative in how you approach your love relationships. This book coined the term “conscious coupling,” which received notoriety after Gwyneth Paltrow famously borrowed similar terminology in announcing her divorce from Chris Martin.

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4. Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha, by Tara Brach. I have had the opportunity to sit in on multiple meditation sessions and retreats facilitated by Tara Brach. This book offers a groundbreaking approach in how we think of ourselves and navigate the world. Promoting kindness, compassion, and forgiveness—not just towards others, but also towards ourselves—Brach reminds her readers that for mindfulness to be transformative we must practice all of these forms of positivity on ourselves. We live in a judgmental and critical culture, and oftentimes, whether or not we intend to, we are indoctrinated in an environment where we develop shame and a sense of unworthiness, particularly for those of us who experienced early trauma and abuse. Brach introduces the reader to the powerful potential of mindfulness and invites her audience to live fully in the present moment.

5. Anything by Dr. Wayne Dyer. Wayne Dyer was trained as a counseling psychologist who developed into a renowned advocate of self-development, ultimately becoming a bestselling author, public speaker, and teacher. He died in 2015, but left a legacy that includes countless talks that can be found online, books that have sold millions of copies, and an official website that includes daily wisdom and links to multiple articles and video galleries. I have found his books, audiobooks, and talks (accessed via YouTube) all to be insightful. Thus, rather than point to a single one, I offer him as a general resource in facilitating positive growth and transformation in your own life. His perspective draws from many areas of psychology and philosophy, including positive psychology, humanism, and cognitive psychology.

Showing up is a significant step in facilitating growth. I invite you to consider including one or more of these books as you embark on a lifelong journey to get to know yourself better by tapping into the deepest parts of your spirit and self.

Copyright Azadeh Aalai 2018