Ladies, Resist This Season of The Bachelor

Last night, I had the opportunity to attend an event entitled “Anthropologizing The Bachelor," where a comedian and an anthropologist/psychoanalyst from Columbia University would presumably be discussing the good, the bad, and the ugly about this show. What I did not anticipate since I do not regularly watch the show is that this analysis would be done by the two panelists during a live viewing of the premiere for the new season of The Bachelor.

Now as some of you readers may recall from my previous posts, as a general rule I do not watch reality television. I found myself both intrigued and appalled at the prospect of watching the first episode of this new season, particularly since I broke my own no-reality-television rule last season to watch the first African American bachelorette Rachel’s search for “true love.” It became apparent very quickly into last night’s episode that any ground this ABC franchise staple was looking to break by featuring their first African American bachelorette had been forgotten. Indeed, it appeared that the franchise was back to its old tricks of promoting traditional gender roles, most prominently featuring the white female contestants, and giving the most screen time to those women who appeared borderline vicious in their pursuit of the bachelor.

What the featured bachelor Arie appears to lack in personality, apparently he makes up for by having a full, thick head of hair and being the lone male for the women to seek—often desperately—attention from. As the anthropologist aptly identified during one of the many commercial breaks, the notion of scarcity is in full force with twenty-nine women competing for the attention of this one male, and so, of course, the set up itself serves as a powerful catalyst for competition. What I was baffled by was why so many of these hand-picked women—all of them attractive, many of them seemingly intelligent and accomplished—claiming to feel an “instant connection” or attachment to this male didn’t appear interested in really getting to know him as a person but had apparently already decided based on his being the selected man for the season that he was “the one” for them. In one particularly gag-inducing confessional, one of the women exclaimed that when she got out of the limo to first meet Arie she was blown away by his blue eyes and couldn’t help thinking if that would mean their child would have blue eyes—let me clarify for you, no, it doesn’t. Come on ladies, are we really going to promote the stereotype that after a mere first encounter with a potential male suitor we are already calculating what our potential offspring would look like?

While it is easy to make fun of the contestants and bachelor alike (as the comedian was doing last night, quite effectively) I found myself more disturbed than amused as I was watching the episode unfold because at the end of the day, despite whatever staging is being done behind the scenes in the form of editing and producer manipulation, these are not paid actors, but actual people. And sadly, many of them did seem sincere in their quest to find true love—yes, on national television. Just as sadly, all but one of these women will be rejected on a national stage and likely be featured at some point either drunk (which virtually all of them appeared to be in last night’s episode), crying, arguing, or in other ways projecting the worst, reality-television version of themselves. Moments that should be private will be edited and projected in public, with little to no control given to each woman regarding how she will ultimately be presented and consumed by the American public for entertainment purposes.

Aren’t we all complicit in this wretched performance if we become viewers? The sexual objectification of women (Arie’s most common response after meeting each woman who walked out of the limo and introduced herself to him was about her appearance), the notion that no woman is complete without a man, the idea that the search for a man is so sacrosanct that it doesn’t matter how we treat other people around us as long as we capture that “prize”—doesn’t this serve to objectify to a certain extent both sexes?

I know, I know, it is just a television show. And yet, in the world we live in today, hasn’t even the act of consumption of regular television become politicized? With all the options out there, and all the advances popular culture has made in the form of groundbreaking television shows and films that portray complex, multi-faceted and nuanced portrayals of both sexes, not to mention portrayals of other races and ethnicities and sexualities, is The Bachelor even relevant anymore?

For those of you who may be despairing about our culture given the apparent sustained popularity of this aged franchise—as I was last night—here is some more uplifting news: the three most popular movies from 2017 were driven by female characters (as reported by Chow, 2018). Yes, despite all the ways that watching a show like The Bachelor can teleport us back to another era of stilted gender paradigms, it is reassuring to see that women are making progress in film.

Truth be told, despite the insightful commentary and funny banter of the panelists last night, I couldn’t make it to the final rose ceremony. I left the event before the first episode of The Bachelor finished. I recommend the same to my readers—walk away from this season of The Bachelor, and seek out more enlightened and entertaining fare that reflects all the complexities of gender in this era. Trust me, there is a lot of stuff out there to consume, and unlike this season of The Bachelor, being a viewer doesn’t have to make you feel guilty or frustrated as you watch it.

Copyright Azadeh Aalai 2018

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