Self-Directed Wellness When the Usuals Don't Work

The usual, time-tested, or evidence-based recommendations for self-care or stress relief just don't work all that well for some people. Meditation, mindfulness, breathing, self-compassion, and even gratitude are scientifically sound practices that alter minds and moods. If you turn one or all of these into a true practice it can change your brain chemistry.

Yet for many people, these approaches just do not help. They can't get into it. The behavior feels awkward or unnatural. They don't like formulaic approaches or applied knowledge. It feels as if something is coming from without rather than from within, even if the practice is all about the inner life. Perhaps they have not had the best training or done it long enough. It takes time to make it part of you so that you see a true change. Others say that it helps but not always and not that much. What other options are there?

When asked what they do for self-care, I have often been struck by how people often do not bring up the usual recommendations. I have heard different things from different people: I listen to Bob Dylan, take pictures of animals, write poems, read Mary Oliver poems, bake, run without headphones for over an hour, watch comedy, watch classic films, crochet, have dinner with my wife, call my friend, drive for hours, or sit alone in my car. In this sense, your wellness tips may be within.

Source: by Chloe Barron

Spirituality, nature, and being a "natural contemplative" in the words of my friend Jeff Genung, president and co-founder of Contemplative Life, can also conjure well-being. Natural contemplativeness can occur when you are doing things—working with your hands, puttering, walking, or doing nothing. There is much in doing nothing, according to Stanford researcher and psychologist Emma Seppala. Making things, observing art, and listening to music that you like can also serve as self-directed wellness or as a source for natural contemplation. Pleasure matters.

Self-awareness is useful. Stop and take note of your response to a certain simple thing, follow inner cues and considering being intentional about making it a habit or ritual. As Parker Palmer wrote, Let Your Life Speak.