How to Enjoy Being Single

Being single is not something to be taken lightly—it's a precious opportunity for profound personal growth and evolution. When you're truly single, with no one to answer to but yourself, that's when the soil is richest for your inner transformation.

When you're truly alone and free, without having to answer to anyone but yourself, that's when the greatest moments of growth and evolution can happen. As a therapist who has spent a lot of time single myself, I've seen firsthand how this period of independence and self-discovery can be transformative.

When you're not caught up in the dopamine rush of a new relationship or the drama of an ending one, you have the freedom and space to get to know yourself on a deeper level. You can explore who you really are, develop new abilities and tools, and figure out what you truly want to bring to the table in your next relationship.

But what new abilities can you cultivate during this single chapter? Let me share a few key ones:

• First, you'll have the chance to really get to know yourself—your values, your boundaries, your triggers, your deepest desires. Without having to compromise or consider someone else, you can dive deep into self-discovery. This self-awareness will be invaluable when you do enter a new relationship, allowing you to show up as your authentic self.
• Second, you can develop powerful tools for self-regulation and emotional intelligence. When you're single, you're not relying on a partner to meet all your needs or soothe your emotions. You have to learn to do that for yourself. Mastering skills like mindfulness, self-compassion, and healthy coping mechanisms will equip you to navigate future relationships with maturity and resilience.
• And third, you can focus on expanding your passions, interests, and sense of purpose. Without the demands of a relationship, you have the freedom to fully immerse yourself in the things that light you up. Developing new talents, exploring new hobbies, and clarifying your life's calling will make you a more vibrant, fulfilled, and attractive partner down the line.

The person you become during this single chapter is going to be so much stronger, wiser, and more self-assured when you do decide to let someone new into your life. You'll have a clarity and confidence that will set the foundation for a truly fulfilling partnership.

I know being single can sometimes feel like an empty soda can, but let me tell you—it's a golden opportunity to build the life you truly want. The key is to shift your focus from just chasing external things to finding real meaning, joy, and deep connections.

As a 46-year-old Korean therapist, I've been there. In my 20s and 30s, I was just trying to get from point A to point B, living in my head and feeling so lost and disconnected. But then I realized, you have to have meaning in your life—in your work, your relationships, maybe even raising children. Without that, you'll just be existing, not truly living.

So take this time as a single person to really examine what lights you up. What are you passionate about? What gives you a sense of purpose? Don't just let your life revolve around finding a partner—build your own life that you're excited about—whether that's pursuing a creative passion, starting a business, traveling, or deepening your relationships with friends and family.

The more you work on creating that meaningful life for yourself, the more you'll have to bring to the table when the right partner does come along. Because, let's be real—if you can't create that for yourself, how can you expect someone else to complete you?

This single time is a rare gift—it may be years or even decades before you find yourself in this position again. Use this precious period to do the inner work, to process your past, and to cement the healthy behaviors and patterns you want to carry forward.

So don't waste a moment of this precious single time, my friend. Embrace it as a rare opportunity to become the best version of yourself. The new abilities you cultivate now will be the very foundation for the healthy, fulfilling relationship you desire.

Get out there and start building. Hang your life on meaning, joy, and deep connections. Don't just hope for a better future—take action and make it happen. This is your time to shine.

Embrace this single chapter and savor the freedom. Structure your days however you want, pursue your passions without compromise, and really get to know yourself on a profound level. There's a certain liberation that comes with that kind of autonomy. No more sharing your calendar or coordinating schedules—your time is your own.

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The growth and self-knowledge you gain now will serve you so well when you do eventually find a partner. You'll be whole, confident, and ready to bring your full self to a relationship. So don't waste a single moment of this precious time. Squeeze every last drop out of your singlehood and become the best version of yourself. That's the true power of being single.