Adolescence and the Growing Challenges of Competition

Source: Carl Pickhardt Ph. D.

Competition is the process of trying to mentally, physically, or socially better one’s own performance or the performance of others. It has many motivations. For example: to increase effort, to test ability, to oppose a rival, to enjoy a challenge, to gain advantage, to improve capacity, to strive for influence, to make progress, or to win an opportunity.

Competition takes energy and effort, and it can risk frustration, failure, or defeat. Competition can have recreational value, as in sports; or it can have survival value, like in the marketplace. It can simply be fun to play or it can seriously contend for self-preservation or social advancement.

So, should parents support their adolescents learning to compete?

I believe the answer is ‘yes.’ However, it’s problematic. So, consider how this complexity might be so.

Considering competition

To the infant, if dependence is nurtured, much caring and care-taking is simply given. As social independence grows, however, the young person must take more care of themselves in a world in which peers and older others are striving to do the same. Now one also calculates possibilities to pursue partly based on what others have done or are trying to accomplish.

Making one’s way in life becomes more competitive as many want what not all can have. Thus by adolescence, young people are increasingly socially, athletically, and academically contesting with others to make their way. They are striving to fit in, keep up with, belong, and move forward in their lives.

Why compete?

Why compete? Consider three common motivations:

• Because you have to in order to exist — for social survival.
• Because you like to and the challenge it presents — for enjoyment.
• Because you want to because of cherished outcomes — for ambition.

People vary in how competitive they are.

• At one extreme might be folks who can’t resist the lure of striving to better their own past performance or challenge the performance of others. Competition calls to their playful or aggressive spirit – constantly testing and proving capacity by engaging in contests for dominance with themselves or others for the striving and fun of it: “I like the challenge of doing better.”
• At the other extreme might be those who shy away from competition because it demands interpersonal effort, conformity, social interaction, and comparison. The opposition can feel uncongenial. Individual growth and expression, private satisfactions, and solitary challenges have greater calling power, with pursuing personal interests mattering more: “I like doing what personally matters.”

At times, most people enjoy some mix of the two.

Life is competitive

Like it or dislike it, in a world where only some can get what many want, growing adolescents must learn to make their way in an increasingly competitive world. So, why compete?

• You can compete for survival.
• You can compete for the sport of it.
• You can compete for limited opportunities.
• You can compete against yourself for improvement.
• You can compete for the challenge or enjoyment of it.
• You can compete to better those who are competing with you.
• You can compete against those who are not competing with you.

The little child was given a lot and much for the asking; come her or his adolescence, getting worldly wants met becomes more socially competitive. Increasingly, what one desires, others do too, and so you must compete with them for what many want, but not everyone can get.

Thus, while grades and academic standing may not have felt like they mattered much in early elementary school, by high school, with graduation beckoning, they increasingly do. Now academic standing can influence further opportunity. Thus the educational passage tends to become more competitive as besting others to get further education, training, employment, or advancement opportunities becomes more intense.

Competition is complicated

Competition – contesting with others for advancement, favor, or superiority — be it playful, social, academic, occupational, or athletic, is highly psychologically complicated. It can serve so many diverse functions and motivations, and it has so many varying effects. Consider a few:

• Competition is ambitious: Players want to win against each other.
• Competition is divisive: While both sides can play, only one can win.
• Competition is comparative: Players rate themselves against each other.
• Competition creates resemblance: Opponents play alike each other.
• Competition requires cooperation: Players engage in mutual opposition.
• Competition takes teamwork: Working together for a collective good.
• Competition is stimulating: A sense of contest feels emotionally arousing.
• Competition is risky: There is the possibility of suffering mishap or defeat.
• Competition is expensive: It costs effort to participate in the playing.
• Competition expresses caring: Playing testifies to how gaming matters.
• Competition shows capacity: The contest tests how well each one can do.
• Competition is educational: Players learn from the interactive play.
• Competition is challenging: Players test capacity by contesting dominance.
• Competition is motivational: Besting opposition encourages striving.
• Competition begets improvement: Contesting opposition strengthens skills.
• Competition strains relationships: Opposition creates rivalry and hostility.
• Competition is unifying: Opponents agree to strive against each other.
• Competition demands compliance: Contestants agree to play by common rules.
• Competition can be serious: Winning and losing can have lasting consequences.

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Competition is not as simple as it seems. Be it social, athletic, or academic, in adolescence it has much to teach in many ways. It’s not so much that parents want their adolescent to be a winner, as someone who tries for what she or he wants when others want it too.

Value competition

So, what to tell your teenager about competition? Perhaps something like this: “When it comes to competition, rivals and opponents are always on your side because they provide an incentive for making effort, encouraging you to push harder than you might otherwise push yourself. Winning or losing, competition allows you to measure your performance against the performance of others, rising to the challenge of continually striving to keep up and do the best you can."

Competition from others can inspire personal effort.