3 Wholesome Ways to Reignite the Spark in Your Relationship

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When discussing relationship success, we often hear about the same key ingredients and concepts that dominate the conversation. Communication is hailed as the cornerstone of any relationship, emphasizing the need for open dialogue and active listening. Sex is often discussed in terms of its frequency and quality, viewed as a barometer of relational health. Trust is highlighted as the glue that holds partners together, leading to a sense of security and stability.

These elements are undeniably important, but they are so frequently mentioned that they can sometimes overshadow the subtler, yet equally vital, habits that contribute to a thriving relationship. Focusing exclusively on the usual macro elements can lead to an incomplete picture of what makes a relationship successful. It’s important to remember that relationships are dynamic and multifaceted, requiring more than just these fundamental elements. The everyday nuances and seemingly minor practices can have profound effects on relationship satisfaction. Here are three such practices that deserve more attention.

1. Incorporating a Sense of Playfulness

Playfulness in a relationship might sound frivolous, but it plays a critical role in maintaining a joyful and resilient partnership. Engaging in playful behavior helps partners bond, reduce stress, and maintain a sense of spontaneity and excitement. According to a study published in Social and Personality Psychology Compass, playfulness contributes to relationship satisfaction, reduces conflict, mitigates monotony, and builds trust—implying that playfulness indirectly supports relationship longevity, happiness, and stability. Here’s how to cultivate this habit:

• Spontaneity: Incorporate spontaneous activities into your routine. Surprise your partner with an impromptu date night or a spontaneous weekend getaway. These unexpected moments can break the monotony of daily life and reignite the excitement in your relationship. Even simple acts, like leaving a surprise note or planning an unexpected outing, can inject a sense of adventure and joy into your daily interactions.
• Humor: Share jokes, laugh together, and don’t be afraid to be silly. Humor can diffuse tension, create a sense of closeness, and keep the relationship lighthearted. Watch a comedy show, share funny memes, or reminisce about humorous moments you’ve experienced together. The act of laughing together not only releases endorphins but also strengthens your bond by creating positive associations and memories.
• Role-playing and imaginary scenarios: Occasionally indulge in role-playing or create imaginary scenarios. Pretend to be characters from your favorite movies or imagine you’re on a deserted island and have to come up with survival strategies. These playful exercises can help you tap into your creative sides, encourage problem-solving together, and add an element of fantasy and fun to your relationship.

2. Following Rituals and Traditions

A study conducted at the University of Illinois highlights the significant role of rituals, such as holiday celebrations and shared activities, in dating relationships. The practice of engaging in rituals helps couples learn more about each other and serves as a diagnostic tool for the relationship’s future.

For instance, rituals bond individuals, provide insights into couple dynamics, impact communication, and offer new perspectives on the relationship. They can strengthen commitment or highlight conflicts, influencing the likelihood of marriage. Additionally, rituals encourage partners to pause and reflect, helping them understand their identity as a couple and potential family.

Here are several ways to incorporate meaningful rituals and traditions into your relationship:

• Weekly rituals: Establish consistent weekly activities that you both enjoy. This could be a Saturday morning breakfast ritual, a Friday movie night where you take turns choosing films, or a Sunday afternoon walk in a nearby park. These routines provide stability and a sense of regular, reliable connection.
• Seasonal traditions: Create traditions around holidays and changing seasons. Decorating the house together for holidays, planning an annual trip, or engaging in seasonal activities like apple picking in the fall or planting a garden in the spring create a rhythm that ties your relationship to the natural cycles of the year, enhancing your connection to each other and the world around you.
• Daily connection points: Incorporate small, daily rituals to maintain a sense of closeness amidst the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Morning coffee together, sharing a few minutes to talk about your day before bed, or a daily text message to check in on each other ensures that you stay connected and provide consistent opportunities for communication and support.

3. Practicing Gratitude as a Team

Gratitude is often discussed in the context of individual well-being, but practicing it as a team can significantly enhance relationship satisfaction. According to a study published in Personal Relationships, gratitude positively impacts relationships, leading to increased feelings of connection and satisfaction for both the giver and the receiver the following day. Expressing gratitude together helps maintain a positive perspective and reinforces the value each partner brings to the relationship.

Here’s how to practice this habit:

• Keep a joint gratitude journal in which both partners write down things they are thankful for about each other and their relationship. Set aside time each week to jot down your thoughts, focusing on small daily gestures and significant acts of love and support. Reviewing the journal together periodically can reinforce positive feelings and remind you of the many reasons you appreciate each other. This practice highlights the good in your relationship and creates a tangible record of your journey together.
• Leave spontaneous thank-you notes for each other, expressing appreciation for both small and significant gestures. These notes can be simple yet impactful, such as thanking your partner for doing the dishes, offering emotional support, or simply being there when you needed a hug. The act of writing and receiving thank-you notes fosters a habit of noticing and appreciating the little things that often go unnoticed. Place these notes in unexpected places like on the bathroom mirror, inside a lunchbox, or under a pillow to bring a smile to your partner’s face and brighten their day.

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While communication, sex, and trust are fundamental to a healthy relationship, it’s the smaller, often overlooked habits that can truly enhance relational satisfaction. By paying attention to these lesser-known habits, you can build a stronger, more fulfilling relationship that stands the test of time.

A version of this post also appears on Forbes.com.