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Resilience
Stress Plus Self-Compassion Equals Resilience
Recent research highlights the synergistic effects of stress and self-compassion
Posted August 16, 2024 Reviewed by Davia Sills
Key points
- Although stress generally worsens mental and physical health, some "good" stressors can benefit well-being.
- Self-compassion, or relating to yourself kindly during difficult moments, improves mental health.
- A four-year study showed neither stress nor self-compassion alone led to resilience, but the combination did.
- Practicing specific mental exercises can lead to meaningful improvements in self-compassion and well-being.
Does stress help us become more resilient?
It’s normal to feel stressed by life’s difficulties or changes. In general, stress has negative impacts on both mental and physical health. However, some types of “good stress,” like going on a first date or trying a new exercise class, can enhance thinking and well-being. And how people manage stress also impacts how it affects them.
Resilience refers to the ability to manage stress effectively. It doesn’t always mean bouncing back to where you were before. Sometimes resilience reflects personal growth or new strengths developed during tough times.
A number of factors contribute to resilience, including physical exercise, adequate sleep, supportive relationships, meditation, participating in hobbies or activities, and higher levels of income and education. Self-compassion, the tendency to relate to yourself with kindness rather than with criticism, is also linked with greater resilience. Research shows that resilience isn’t a fixed trait; it can be developed.
A mix of stress and self-compassion boosts resilience
Last month, researchers at Duke University and the University of North Carolina published the results of a four-year study investigating stress and resilience among 1,137 university students. The students completed questionnaires each spring during their four undergraduate years.
The researchers found that neither stress nor self-compassion alone increased resilience.
However, when students’ stress and self-compassion both increased, students showed higher levels of resilience. The results indicate that when people’s response to stress includes self-compassion—being understanding and kind towards oneself, even during times of failure or suffering—they experience better coping and more positive outcomes.
The results align with previous research showing that self-compassion reduces depression and anxiety after stress. In another prospective study, 462 college students completed measures of stress, anxiety, depression, and self-compassion, as well as follow-up questionnaires six months later. Students with less self-compassion were more likely to experience depression and anxiety after stress, whereas, for students with greater self-compassion, stress was not as strongly linked to depression, anxiety, and other negative feelings. The study demonstrates that higher levels of self-compassion are somewhat protective against the mental health difficulties that often occur following stress.
How can I develop more self-compassion?
Changing how you relate to yourself can be challenging because it’s a powerful habit developed over several years or even decades. Even if you’re convinced by the research showing that more self-compassion is associated with better mental health and well-being, you might not become kinder to yourself by relying on that intention alone.
Research studies show that practicing specific techniques can meaningfully improve self-compassion. Many effective strategies to build self-compassion are proactive. You don’t need to wait until you’re beating yourself up or even wait until a difficult situation arises. Purposeful self-compassion strategies are like physical exercises; they strengthen internal resources through repeated practice.
Self-compassion practices backed by robust research evidence include lovingkindness meditation or “well-wishing,” in which you silently repeat good wishes towards yourself (and towards others, if you choose), such as “May I be safe. May I be happy. May I be healthy. May I live with ease.” Note that these well-wishes are not affirmations; they do not have any component of self-evaluation or even judging yourself to be good.
Mindfulness meditation also reduces self-criticism and increases self-compassion over time. Mindfulness meditation involves trying to focus on present-moment sensations, such as breathing and returning attention when it wanders. The effort of not judging yourself during the many times that your mind wanders over and over again decreases overall self-criticism and builds self-compassion.
Although many people assume that self-compassion might make them selfish or less motivated, self-compassion is associated with better relationships, higher levels of motivation, and less procrastination. People might also confuse self-compassion with self-esteem. Whereas self-esteem contains some degree of self-evaluation, self-compassion doesn’t involve assessing how great you are.
Repetition is crucial for meaningfully increasing self-compassion. Longer-term practice of self-compassion practices is linked with greater benefits. However, if self-compassion techniques provoke distress, it might be wise to consult a mental health provider before continuing or to focus first on one of the many other strategies that build resilience. Self-compassion strategies can seem strange, awkward, or silly at first, but after a few weeks or months of repeated practice, most people do experience meaningful benefits, including improved mental health and resilience.
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