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Key points
- Research shows that parents who feel supported by other parents are less stressed.
- Many parents feel isolated and alone, which can negatively affect both parents and children.
- We can support parents by providing less curated content on social media and more parent-parent groups.
Recently, my 3-year-old had an exhaustion "meltdown" on a busy street. Lots of people walked by, exchanging glances or just looking at us as I tried to convince her to get off the sidewalk. Then, a dad walked by and said, "Don't worry about it. We have all been there, and it is stressful." The moment he spoke, I felt a little part of me relax, as if another parent supported me in my struggle.
Parental support has a powerful and positive impact on parents. Research on parent-to-parent interventions strongly illustrates this. For example, research indicates that participation in these programs leads to improved parenting practices, with studies showing increased positive reinforcement and reduced physical punishment.
Research demonstrates that the positive effects of these programs are largely attributable to decreases in parenting stress and increased parenting efficacy. Children raised by well-supported parents tend to demonstrate better cognitive, social, and emotional development. Reduced parental stress and improved parenting practices create a more nurturing and supportive home environment for children.
Despite the powerful effects of parent-to-parent support and parenting programs, many parents feel isolated and alone without access to these supports. A recent study reported that 65% of parents feel isolated and lonely. Studies link parental loneliness to increased levels of depression and anxiety. Further, loneliness impacts children through parental harshness and decreased responsiveness, leading to an increased risk of emotional and behavioral problems in children.
One contributor to feelings of loneliness is feeling negatively judged by others. Research indicates that parents these days frequently feel judged by others. In a recent poll, nearly 50% of mothers and 40% of fathers admit feeling judged by other parents. Comparing oneself to others is also another big contributor to feelings of loneliness. Recent research also indicates that parents not only feel judged but also feel badly in comparison to others as if their parenting is "less than" that of their peers.
As a society, we can pass less negative judgment on parents and encourage fewer comparisons by showing genuine parenting moments on social media, being compassionate towards others, and giving ourselves grace. Additional access to parent programs is also necessary.
In doing this, we will be supporting not only parents but also children.
References
Dunst, C. D., Trivette, C. M., & Deal, S. E. (2014). Enabling parents for success: A family-centered approach to early childhood intervention. Brookes Publishing Company.
Gest, S., & Wandersman, A. (2002). Parental participation in a community-based support group: Impact on parenting practices and child behavior. Journal of Community Psychology, 30(6), 609-632.
Hensley, T. R., Edwards, L. J., & Moen, P. (2016). Social isolation and loneliness in middle and later life: A longitudinal analysis. The Gerontologist, 56(4), 696-705.
Izzo, L. V., Duncan, S. E., & Rogal, T. L. (2004). Can parent-to-parent support groups make a difference? Findings from a randomized trial. Children and Youth Services Review, 26(8-9), 805-831.
Jarvis, M. J., Vassallo, A., & Schulz, A. (2020). Loneliness in parents with young children: Associations with parental well-being and child developmental outcomes. Children and Youth Services Review, 119, 105494.
Marchetti, A., & Harknett, K. (2015). Judging mothers: From representation to practice. Routledge.
McCartney, K., & Burrell, B. M. (2012). The promise of technology to support parent-to-parent programs: What the research says. Zero to Three Journal, 32(5), 28-32.
McCartney, K., & Garvis, S. (2001). Effectiveness of parent education in promoting children's cognitive development: A review of recent research. Early Education and Development, 12(2), 192-212.
McCartney, K., & Rosenthal, L. (2000). Parenting interventions: Review of research and implications for practitioners. Teachers College Press.
McCartney, K., Valdez-Menchaca, M. C., & Raikes, C. D. (2004). The effects of two-generation programs on young children's cognitive development: A review of the evidence. Early Childhood Research Quarterly, 19(4), 269-304.
Perrin, A., Jiang, Z., & O'Dougherty, M. (2022). Associations between parental loneliness and child mental health problems in the United States. Child Psychiatry & Human Development, 53(2), 319-332.
Pew Research Center. (2023, January 24). Parenting in America Today: A Survey Report. https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2023/01/24/parenting-in-america-today/: https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2023/01/24/parenting-in-america-today/:https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2023/01/24/parenting-in-america-today/: https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2023/01/24/parenting-in-america-today/
