Follow the Golden Rule and Pay It Forward

In the movie Schindler's List, Oskar Schindler takes great risks to help Jewish families escape the Holocaust. Although his actions carry great personal risk, Schindler helps the Jews because he truly believes it's the right thing to do. Many years later, when Schindler is very old, some of the Jews he saved come to care for him, and they later place flowers on his gravesite.

The 2023 movie The Covenant tells a similar story. An American soldier in Afghanistan befriends an Afghan interpreter, who later saves him after he is injured in an explosion. The American soldier then travels back to Afghanistan to rescue his friend and bring him to the United States.

These two movies illustrate the Golden Rule—treat others as you would want them to treat you—as well as the related theme of Pay It Forward. If someone has done something to help you, pay that forward by doing something nice for someone else. If you received excellent mentorship from your supervisor, professor, or anyone else, provide similarly excellent mentorship to others who come to you. If someone lent you money when you couldn't afford to meet your expenses, then do that for someone else when you have the opportunity.

We can also think of some of our not-so-proud moments when we did not follow the Golden Rule or pay it forward and decide how we can do better in the future. Did you once ignore someone who asked you for help? Did you tell a student you were too busy for them or walk past a charitable organization that was raising money for a worthy cause? Did you have an opportunity to help an older or disabled person cross the street, but instead, you blew past them because you were in a hurry? Did your child ask you for help with their homework, only to have you yell at them for not finishing it on their own?

Mistakes are precious because they serve as guides for how we can improve moving forward. Rather than beating ourselves up for not being the best versions of ourselves, we can use our past errors as reminders of how to get it right. None of us are perfect, but as long as we are willing to commit to not making the same mistake again, we will continue to grow. Everyone you encounter will present opportunities for you to display the person you know yourself to be.

The Golden Rule is similar to the Buddhist concept of karma, which says that how we treat others is how we will be treated in the future. If you give money to others who are in need, then others will help you when you need it. If you let someone else go first because they are in a hurry, then others will defer to you when you are short on time.

Almost 20 years ago, my wife and I learned about a local family that was struggling to care for their 2-year-old daughter, who had been diagnosed with leukemia. At that time, we had just sold our previous house and made a nice profit, so we decided to send this family several thousand dollars to help meet their daughter's medical expenses. We asked the family not to publicize our names because we were not seeking attention. Our only goal was to make sure that their daughter was receiving the care she needed. About a year later, I received an unexpected but very much appreciated raise from my university. Was that karma? I cannot say for sure, of course, but it sure does fit with the Golden Rule and with paying it forward.

When you receive wisdom from your mentors and share it with others, you are paying it forward. When you learn something new and then teach it to someone else, you are paying it forward. When you connect two people who have a lot in common, you are paying it forward. When you raise your children with the same love and care with which you were raised (or when you decide to treat your children far more kindly than you were treated as a child), you are paying it forward. The world is full of wisdom and blessings, and when we receive these gifts from others, we have an important opportunity to share them with others.

Contrary to "What can one person do?" logic, there is a lot that we can do. Social network theory tells us that many behaviors are transmitted through social networks. When you share wisdom with others, they may share it with their friends, and so on. We know that negative behaviors are spread this way, so why would positive behaviors not be spread the same way?

So, each time you receive a blessing, pass it on to others. Give to others what has been given to you, and more. Share with others what has been shared with you and more. Take advantage of opportunities to inspire others, and you will find yourself inspired as well. We can make the world a better place, one day at a time.