The Power of Critical Thinking on the Path to Persuasion

In my previous post, I covered the common mental traps that people who value critical thinking often fall into, and how “weak-sense” critical thinking often makes people less influential and persuasive, not more. This doesn’t mean, however, that critical thinking doesn’t play an important role in influence and persuasion. It just means that you have to use it the right way, not the wrong way. If you haven’t yet read my previous post, I recommend doing so now, because using critical thinking correctly first requires understanding how and why to not use it in the wrong way, which, unfortunately, many so-called “critical thinkers” do.

Every Person Tells a Story

Yes, the actual saying is that every picture tells a story. But it’s also true that every person tells a story. I don’t mean literal stories that begin with “Once upon a time” (although we tell those, too), but rather the subjective interpretations of our lives, who we are, and why we do what we do. Arguably, we humans are not equipped to perceive objective reality as it is because we all perceive it subjectively through our minds and senses, which, in turn, are influenced by our genes, experiences, knowledge, and biases. According to narrative theory, because we crave meaning, coherence, and consistency, we constantly tell ourselves “stories” to make all the disparate elements of our lives fit together into a pattern that makes sense. And these stories all coalesce into one grand, overarching narrative about our lives and who we are.

What does this have to do with using critical thinking to be more persuasive?

Everything.

As I previously argued, logic, reason, and facts alone often fail to persuade people. When this seemingly sensible approach does fail, the reason is usually that such an approach conflicts with some aspect of people’s personal stories and narrative. So, if you want to actually persuade people instead of repeatedly engaging in acts of futility, you have to understand what their stories and narratives are. And how do you do that? You do it with a tool that I’ve written about twice already on this blog, active listening.

In one post, I discussed using active listening as a way of facilitating small talk and building rapport. In another post, I discussed active listening in the context of correctly perceiving people’s viewpoints so that you can find common ground with them. These two things complement each other since (1) building rapport through small talk (more properly understood as “connect” talk) and (2) correctly understanding and identifying with people’s viewpoints are related and interdependent.

More thoroughly and comprehensively perceiving someone’s personal stories and narratives, however, is a whole different beast. It is a deeper and more difficult process than just building rapport or trying to relate to people’s viewpoints. This is because personal stories and narratives are the very foundation from which people’s viewpoints emerge in the first place. Grasping these inner narratives, however, requires critical thinking of the highest order because they lie deep within the psyche of a person.

People’s Stories Often Conflict With Each Other

In a prior post, I used the hypothetical of trying to sell a car to a client. Let’s use that example again, but this time let’s imagine that you’re trying to sell an electric car to a client. The problem, however, is that this client specifically wants a Tesla, and the electric car you have available to sell isn’t a Tesla. There are numerous electric vehicles available today that are arguably even better than Tesla in some ways, while also being more affordable. Let’s say the car you’re trying to sell falls into that category and you dutifully point out the many benefits to your client: comparable power and efficiency, faster charging, a better overall ride experience, and even a cheaper price, all of which your client has told you are important and desirable considerations.

Yet, your client still insists only a Tesla will do. So, what’s going on?

Consider this: There’s a certain personal narrative this client has that is more important and lies deeper than the surface-level narratives of wanting fast charging, a better ride experience, and a more affordable price. To make it even more complicated, these various multiple narratives may very well compete with each other.

For example, let’s say that through active listening combined with your sharp critical thinking skills, you sense that the idea of belonging to a certain class of well-educated, urban liberals is very important to this customer (though not explicitly stated) and that having an electric car is an outward sign of belonging to this class. Yet, despite presenting this client with an electric car that complements this narrative, and which offers additional benefits that a Tesla can’t offer, the client still clings to the dream of owning a Tesla—a dream that reflects a deeper, more powerful narrative that goes beyond simply being a member of the well-educated, urban liberal class. It is a narrative that only Teslas, with their ingenious marketing, can fulfill—the narrative of the well-educated, urban liberal who lives a lifestyle that is not just sustainable but is also successful, fun, and sexy, all at the same time.

That’s a tall order to be sure, yet that is the image that Tesla has consistently and masterfully projected. In fact, a 2021 U.K. study revealed that featuring a Tesla on a dating profile vastly improved people’s chances of getting matched on dating apps more than any other brand of car—by a whopping 110 percent for men and a respectable 11 percent for women. But few might openly admit that they’d prefer a car that is more expensive, offers less than other electric vehicles, and is actually not as green as one might think, all because they’re hoping it will help them attract a mate, or at least a date.

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What this means for you is that when you’re trying to discern people’s inner narratives, part of the challenge is figuring out which narratives are the deepest and most important to them because, as mentioned, people usually have numerous narratives that often conflict with each other. Critical thinking requires accessing and processing accurate and fuller information, not simply obvious and surface information. Put bluntly, what’s obvious isn’t always accurate. Getting a meaningful sense of what’s really motivating people requires an in-depth understanding of and commitment to critical thinking and active listening that often demands significant time and effort—shortcuts simply won’t do.

Not All Stories Have Happy Endings (and That’s OK)

Being more influential certainly doesn’t mean successfully persuading everyone every time. Sometimes, you need to let go of trying to persuade people whose deeper narratives you just can’t figure out or whose narratives you can’t adequately satisfy, such as in our Tesla example above. In these situations, you might be better off investing your time and efforts on something more likely to yield fruit. With the customer in our Tesla scenario, it’s likely that no amount of effort on your part would ever convince that particular client to buy your car because the deepest, strongest narrative—to be successful, sexy, fun, and attractive, in addition to being socially responsible and sustainable—is something that the client believes only a Tesla can provide.

If all this sounds intimidating, it’s worth remembering that not all persuasion attempts will be as challenging as the Tesla hypothetical. In some situations, logic, reason, and facts can be quite useful in persuading others. In other situations, you might need to probe just a little bit further, and a moderate level of critical thinking and active listening may be what’s needed. But there will also be times when neither of these more modest approaches works, and nothing less than extraordinary levels of critical thinking and active listening will succeed in uncovering people’s deepest narratives.

Is it worth the effort? That depends. How badly do you want that that seemingly elusive outcome? How much effort to exert requires a case-by-case evaluation with no guarantees of success. So, what can you do? Consider applying the process to yourself. By thinking critically about your own situation and listening carefully to your own personal narrative, you just may uncover for yourself the best path to take.