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Life is full of uncertainties, sometimes (like right now) more than others. Normal life as we knew it before the pandemic, such as going to restaurants without thinking of the health risks, meeting our friends, working out at the gym, or having holidays with our extended families, is no longer a given. For most of you, your new daily normal is quite different than our daily normal of 2019.
Life has always had uncertainties. Many of those uncertainties you didn't have to think about and so they didn't affect you so much. You probably felt relatively safe in your day-to-day activities without giving it too much thought. Much of the uncertainty could be ignored. That's no longer true for so many people.
Most of you really dislike uncertainty. Even when it's uncertainty about a job interview or a grade on a paper or whether someone will call you again—it's uncomfortable. When the uncertainty is about a health threat and quality of life, that can be like living under constant, chronic threat. That is exhausting and discouraging.
You may seek out ways to end the uncertainty, perhaps through obsessively seeking information by checking the internet for updates or seeking out people who say they have answers. You may be vulnerable to listening to people who claim to have answers when they don't. Or you may try to shut uncertainty down. You ignore the news and perhaps pretend that the uncertainty doesn't exist. Maybe you decide there is not a threat and go about your life minimizing and denying. Another alternative is that you withdraw and isolate.
None of these options, in the extreme, is helpful. Attempting to control something you can't control increases anxiety and is exhausting. For right now, when the pandemic will be over is uncertain and that’s out of your control. Fighting against that will increase your anxiety and stress and likely bring misery. Acceptance that right now you don’t know when the restrictions on your daily life will be over may not be what you want to do, but accepting reality is more productive than fighting against the facts.
Coping with uncertainty, especially over a longer period of time, is a real challenge. Here are some suggestions.
- Being mindful can help. Just recognizing that uncertainty is difficult and you will have urges to act to end the uncertainty, but you cannot. Keep bringing your mind back to the present moment and what you can do right now, what is in your control. This moment is a given, it is not uncertain.
- Consider what is in your control and what is not in your control. Radically accept what is not in your control. Take action on what you can control, in an effective way that fits your values and goals.
- Be kind and compassionate to yourself while you go through the stress. Lower your expectations or yourself. When there is more stress in your life, it will take more energy to just cope with the stress. You may not be able to do all the tasks you could do before.
- Find some time to play. Being able to laugh for a few moments can lower your stress.
- Establish and keep a routine. Eat healthy foods and get enough sleep. Find a way to exercise. You know the mind and the body are connected, so keeping both healthy will improve your ability to cope overall.
- Self-soothe. Identify what is soothing to you, perhaps listening to music, the smell of scented candles, touching soft blankets, or holding a pet. Add activities to your life that lower your anxiety, even if just for a short time. Purposefully give yourself time for comfort.
- Find meaning. Are there lessons you can learn from this experience? Having a sense of purpose can be grounding. Are there opportunities that exist that didn’t before? Are there ways to join in with a community and find purpose in making a difference for others?
- Don't wait to live your life. While it's likely you can't live the way you would prefer right now, find the best possible life given the circumstances. What is your best life for right now?
