Helping Colleagues Build Their Resilience

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Previously, I wrote about building your own resilience. And as the saying goes, remember to put your own oxygen mask on before assisting others. However, if you see someone struggling and you have the capacity to help them, here are some actions you can take to help others build their resilience at work.

Understand Their Struggles

Take the time to understand the reasons people are stressed or feel they are getting stuck. Delve into what demands or stressors they are facing.

At times, people don't understand why something is stressing them out. Try to help them by finding patterns when you see them stressed. Sometimes something little sets them off, but that's not the real issue. Get curious about deeper reasonings.

A common deeper reason to be stressed is that needs aren't being met. Basic needs include the need to feel competent, the need for close relationships, and the need to act with a sense of volition (that is, to have a say in things). So check to see if one of these needs isn't being met for your colleague.

For example, if they have tight deadlines, competing priorities, or are being asked to do things outside of their comfort zone, that is going to challenge their sense of competence. If they can't call upon colleagues for help or the boss is absent, they might be feeling isolated and aren't meeting their relationship needs. If they keep being scheduled in back-to-back meetings, don't feel heard, or are being micro-managed, they might not have a sense of volition.

Determine if You Have the Resources to Help Them

Understanding your colleagues' sources of stress can help you understand if they are tapping into the right resources. That is, what are the things that can help them meet their needs?

For instance, sometimes people are new and just aren't aware of the tools and resources available to them and are too afraid to ask. Sometimes people know the tool is there but don't have the time to learn the shortcuts. Other times people don't understand where they can have autonomy over the work. For example, can they decline meeting invites? Can the postpone deadlines? What is the expected response time for emails? Is it expected to be available after hours?

Help them by communicating the culture and expectations. Encouraging them to relax or disconnect after work can also help the person feel they have "permission" to separate.

Helping your colleague understand their demands and resources can help them make an action plan.

Understand What Helps Them Feel Energized

Getting out of stress is just half the battle. In order to build resilience, people need to feel more than just neutral but excited or happy about work. The fact that you are already interested in helping can help create a safe space for them. Having a friend at work will help build their commitment and engagement at work.

Then, help your colleague find the job aspects that get them excited. Advocate on their behalf so they get that work or get assigned to special projects, which will help them get more of that work. To further build their resilience, encourage colleagues to work on transferable skills to help make work easier, such as improving problem-solving and communication skills and building their confidence.

Helping is a great way to assist others and help yourself feel more fulfillment and purpose within your job.