Skip to main content

Verified by Psychology Today

Sexual Abuse

Keeping the Concept of Consent Simple: Yes Means Yes

New state laws spell out what consent truly means, but more education is needed.

As colleges are gearing up for the new academic year, it is important to remember that sexual assault is a serious and pervasive problem on college campuses across the U.S. A study by the American Association of University Women found that a shocking 16.9 percent of women reported sexual assault during their first year of college alone. And the true scope of the problem is underestimated because sexual assault is difficult to measure and severely underreported. Most of these assaults are perpetrated by someone known to the victim — usually a fellow student, a current or ex dating partner, or a friend.

The first year of college is the riskiest for women when it comes to sexual assault. In fact, the first six weeks of college are called the “red zone” for incoming freshmen, because it’s the time when women are most likely to be raped or to experience attempted rape. This heightened vulnerability among new students may be related to the freedom of leaving home for the first time and underage drinking in off-campus locations. College-age women often live with people their own age on campus, and students may feel peer pressure to participate in social activities like drinking, using drugs, going to parties, or engaging in sexual activities that make them uncomfortable. Being forced into unwanted sexual activity for social acceptance is a type of sexual coercion.

But the good news is that these disturbing statistics have sparked activism. Survivor groups like End Rape on Campus have heightened public awareness of the problem, and have demonstrated that the problem is ubiquitous and unacceptable. They have pushed for states like California and New York to pass groundbreaking affirmative consent laws. In 2014, Governor Brown of California passed the nation’s first affirmative consent standard for colleges to use in campus sexual assault cases. The law, nicknamed “Yes Means Yes,” established that consent is a voluntary, affirmative, conscious agreement to engage in sexual activity, that it can be revoked at any time, that a previous relationship does not constitute consent, and that coercion or threat of force can also not be used to establish consent. Affirmative consent can be given either verbally or nonverbally. Additionally, the law clarified that a person who is incapacitated by drugs or alcohol or is either not awake or fully awake is also incapable of giving consent. California also requires high schools to educate students on consent.

As the new academic year begins, it is important to remember that college sexual assault is a real threat to the health and wellbeing of students. Many colleges and universities across the country have implemented prevention programs and are educating students on the meaning of consent and what constitutes sexual assault, stalking, and coercion. Consent is a clearly communicated agreement to participate in any intimate or sexual activity. Consent must be given for activities including touching, sexting, or any other type of sexual interaction. It can never be assumed. Consent must be given for specific activities and must be continual. No one should assume that someone wants to have sex. Everyone has the right to stop sexual contact whenever they want, no matter what. Saying nothing does not equal consent. Saying yes once doesn’t mean it’s a yes for everything. Consent is not ambiguous; it is mutual, and voluntary. If someone says yes to sex out of fear of the consequences, manipulation or coercion, this is not consent.

A target of sexual assault cannot be expected to prevent this abuse, because violent behavior is always the responsibility of the person who perpetrates it. If you have experienced sexual assault, it is not your fault. And you are not alone. Please reach out to loved ones, a counselor, the police, or a health care provider for support.

The Office of Women’s Health provides some tips that students can follow to be safer and help keep others safe from potential perpetrators: Their recommendations are listed below:

  • Get to know someone well before spending time alone with him or her. College is often about meeting new people and making new friends. But do not rely only on someone you just met to keep you safe.
  • Go to parties or hangouts with friends. Arrive together, check-in with each other, and leave together. Talk about your plans for the evening so that everyone knows what to expect.
  • Meet first dates or new people in public placed.
  • Listen to your instincts or “gut feelings.” Most women who are sexually assaulted know the person who assaults them. If you find yourself alone with someone you don’t trust, leave. If you feel uncomfortable in any situation for any reason, leave. You are the only person who gets to say whether you feel safe.
  • Be aware of your alcohol or drug intake. Research shows that about half of sexual assault victims had been drinking when the attack happened. Drinking alcohol does not make the attack your fault but using alcohol and drugs can lead to being unaware of what is happening around you or to you.
  • Keep control of your own drink, because someone could put drugs or alcohol in it without you knowing.
  • Get help right away if you feel drunk and haven’t drunk any alcohol or if the effects of alcohol feel stronger than usual. This can happen if someone put a date rape drug into your drink. Date rape drugs have no smell or taste and can cause you to pass out and not remember what happened.
  • Be aware of your surroundings. Especially if walking alone, avoid talking on your phone or listening to music with headphones. Know where you are as you move around the campus. At night, stay in lighted areas, or ask a friend or campus security to go with you.
  • Know your resources. You need to know where you can get help if you need it. Know where the campus sexual assault center, the campus police, and the campus health center are. Find the campus emergency phones and put the campus security number into your cellphone.
  • Have a plan to get home. If you are going to use a ride-sharing app, make sure your phone is charged. Consider keeping a credit card or cash as a backup for a taxi.

To learn more about this problem, I suggest checking out these organizations:

Mellissa Withers is an associate professor of global health at the University of Southern California's Online Master of Public Health program

advertisement
More from Mellissa Withers, Ph.D., M.H.S
More from Psychology Today