What It Means for Someone to Change Their Name

Source: Krystine I. Batcho

Have you ever changed your name? Have you used different names or versions of your name in different contexts? Or maybe you know someone who has. On the surface, nicknames, variations of spelling, or using a number of names might not seem very important. Unlike how much we earn, the neighborhood we live in, or the people we associate with, variations on our name might seem unrelated to material or psychological consequences.

On a deeper level, however, names are intimately connected to identity. Labels for things are arbitrary as they vary by language. The words for table, clock, or horse depend upon the language we use. Our name, on the other hand, can remain wherever we go and in whatever language we speak.

Our name thereby serves to sustain our sense of continuity of self, despite the constant transitions we experience throughout our lives. So, what does it mean when someone modifies their name or uses different names?

Young people, in particular, often make changes in the spelling or form of their name. Of course, such changes can reflect simple aesthetic preferences, as a teen might like the way the letter K looks better than the letter C, or they might prefer a shorter name or want to become known by a single name, as some celebrities are (e.g., Oprah or Pink). Especially during adolescence and early adulthood, a person might want to make a statement or assert their uniqueness by identifying with a distinctive or novel name or going by initials.

But a name can mean so much more. A name can represent a bond with someone important to us. Adopting a form from the first language of one’s family can reflect a person’s identification with their family, their ancestors, and their cultural heritage.

Similarly, we might treasure a nickname someone we love gave us. Keeping it private can reflect a desire to protect the bond as special, unique, and exclusive. Using it publicly expresses an acknowledgment of the admiration and love one has for the author of the nickname.

Names illustrate one of the basic paradoxical tensions in human dynamics—the desire to be known and the desire to be private. Being known is essential to maintaining authentic relationships. At the same time, revealing certain aspects of ourselves can threaten the security that privacy provides. There may be parts of who we think we are and behaviors or attitudes from our past that we no longer value and wish to leave behind.

That tension explains why some people identify closely with their name while others do not. When someone alters their name, they might be displaying who they believe they are—or who they wish they were.

We should take notice when someone we love modifies their name. On one hand, they might be experiencing positive personal growth. Perhaps they are discovering a creative talent, moving in a new direction, or exploring a new relationship. Understanding their motivation can help us appreciate more fully who they are becoming and thereby enrich our relationship with them. By supporting them in new endeavors, we enjoy being part of their journey.

On the other hand, they could be expressing a need to evade or escape from a threat or injury to their sense of self. A person who has been harassed, bullied, or sexually abused might wish that the person who had been victimized no longer exists, or even never existed at all. A modified name might signal a hope for a rebirth, a new beginning. When abuse persists, a name change can reflect an effort to dissociate from the self being hurt. A change in name can sometimes be a cry for help. Similarly, someone who has been an aggressor or who has disappointed or hurt others (or believe they have) may use a name change to signal their desire to change who they are or have been.

A name is part of an interactive dynamic between an individual and others. When a person varies their name, they might expect to be treated differently, and they might in fact experience different responses from others that can lead a person in new interpersonal, social, and career directions. The popular singer Prince generated substantial controversy by changing his name for a period of time to an unpronounceable symbol, comprised of a combination of the male and female astrological signs. During that period, he was often referred to as “the artist formerly known as Prince.”

Research suggests that how individuals identify with their personal name may vary across cultures, and that people may modify the form of their name when they relocate to another country. In some cases, a person may want to make it easier for people to remember, spell, or pronounce their name; in other cases, a name change may suggest a weakened identification with one’s own culture. In Western societies, research suggests that names denote the individuality of the person and mark social connections. By providing a map of family connections, names can help ground a person within family relationships

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In itself, a rose by any other name would smell as sweet, but the significance of personal names can spring from and contribute to meaningful change in who a person is and who they can become.

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