Anxiety and Custody: There’s an App for That

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As I frequently discuss in this blog, even the “best” divorces are unsettling for families, especially when it comes to co-parenting and custody arrangements. In high-conflict divorces, the stress can feel overwhelming.

Managing Schedules and Communication

In my family law practice, I recommend separated and divorced couples use custody apps to manage custody schedules, communication, and other important details. These apps help reduce anxiety by ensuring all parties are “on the same page.” They also create an objective record that can be used if you end up in court.

Custody apps provide a centralized platform for parents to communicate about schedules, pickups, drop-offs, and any other relevant details related to their children.

Imagine how much easier it is to go to an app and get a clear accounting of the decisions you have agreed to with a co-parent regarding a proposed change in schedule rather than digging through emails and texts for the relevant information.

Additionally, some apps provide features like expense tracking, particularly for items not accounted for in the settlement, which can include some big-ticket items such as camp, sports expenses, orthodontics, or standardized test tutoring.

Some apps also allow for document sharing and even messaging with family lawyers. This can reduce the need for direct communication between parents, which is particularly helpful for high-conflict couples.

Providing a Record

Also very important is the fact that custody apps provide a record of communication and activities related to the children, which can be valuable in legal proceedings or disputes. For example, if there is a question about whether or not it was one parent’s responsibility to pick up the children from an activity, and an issue arises from that, there is a clear record of if this topic was discussed and how it was resolved.

Similarly, an app can track conversations about holiday or summer custody plans that have been agreed to or can offer the ability to swap a weekend or other time with your co-parent and have it all documented. The record of communication is clear, and this documentation can be used as evidence in court if necessary, which can help to resolve conflicts more efficiently, less expensively, and with less emotional turmoil.

Some custody apps do even more than keep an accurate record. At least one that I often recommend has a feature that caters to co-parents who have particular challenges with kind and respectful interactions. These features analyze the tone of the text to help users avoid potentially inflammatory language.

In fact, many of the custody agreements that I now draft include provisions utilizing custody apps, and I am seeing more judges order co-parents to utilize these apps.

Ultimately, the best custody app for each family will depend on their specific needs and preferences. And, while they can be a helpful tool for reducing anxiety and conflict between divorced or separated parents, it’s important to keep in mind that they are not a substitute for legal advice. In cases where there is ongoing conflict or disagreement, you should always speak with your attorney or a mental health professional.

Note: This post is not intended to serve as legal or mental health advice. Each situation is unique. Please speak with a local mental health professional or attorney to address your issues specifically.