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Key points
- Psychotherapy isn't just for "people with problems."
- Those trained in counseling and therapy can help navigate inevitable "blind spots."
- The therapeutic relationship is an investment in personal growth.
- Self-knowledge is one gift that psychotherapy can offer.
We’ve all had friends and family members share reasons they’re not open to seeing a psychotherapist. “I don’t need to pay someone to listen to my problems.” “Therapy is a money-making business, and I can work things out on my own.” “Somehow, we got by over the years without therapy—we pulled ourselves up by our bootstraps and figured it out.”
Most of the rationale for not going to therapy stems from a preconceived notion that psychotherapy is only for “people with problems,” and they're reinforced by a lasting stigma that perpetuates a message that therapy is something to be ashamed of or kept on the down-low. The truth is that psychotherapy is a helpful tool for self-discovery.
While there are likely more to add to this list, here are five beneficial reasons therapy can benefit you.
1. Blind Spots
It’s common to go about our lives with preconceived ideas of how things should be, but it’s important to have a clinical perspective for a reality check. Maybe we’ve grown up in a culture where drinking heavily is a normalized coping mechanism. Perhaps we’ve been raised in a family where secret-keeping is expected, or talking about others to others behind their backs is encouraged as a way to process interpersonal challenges. We may think our way of relating is okay. I’m only blowing off steam. I don’t want to air the family's emotional baggage, etc.
It’s important to share these potentially unhealthy patterns of relating in a safe space in order to understand better ourselves and our interrelationships with our friends, family, colleagues, and the world around us. We’ve all got interpersonal blind spots. A trained clinical professional can help us spot them and assist us in forging a healthier path ahead.
2. Accountability
Change of any kind is hard, but changing self-limiting beliefs, behavior patterns, or unhealthy relationship dynamics can be especially hard. It’s particularly easy to stay stuck in our heads, spinning ideas or excuses for why we do what we do. That’s why having a trained professional with knowledge about these things is important to help keep us accountable.
Friends or family members typically lack the skillset (or courage) to confront potentially unhealthy or damaging behaviors they may see. Worse yet, we may inadvertently play into someone else’s dysfunction in ways we cannot see or realize until it’s pointed out to us.
A trained therapist can be a gold mine when we feel stuck or involved in unhealthy interpersonal dynamics. They can provide the much-needed perspective to help keep us accountable and get our lives back on track by exploring the spaces that need improvement.
3. Knowledge of Family Systems
Knowledge of family systems is key to self-knowledge because most of us have grown accustomed to family roles, norms, and expectations that are hard to break out of. Theories that explain these roles are well written about and extrapolated upon in groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous and the like because the roles we’ve typically lived out of have the potential to keep us stuck in unhealthy patterns.
Unacknowledged grief or loss (such as miscarriage, divorce, or a forced change of residence), multigenerational trauma (including abandonment, abuse, and addiction), and other life-impacting issues are addressed with curiosity and care in the therapeutic relationship. Expectations of carrying on "as usual" when critical life issues aren't examined and understood can potentially put our health and future generations at risk, and counselors are especially adept at helping us understand the implications of these events on our lives.
It’s so important to understand how the frameworks that we’ve grown up within have the potential to reinforce healthy or unhealthy coping strategies, and therapists can help us comprehend how we've been impacted by these dynamics. When we’re made aware of our maladaptive habitual patterns of relating, it can feel validating and freeing. It can also spawn a more authentic relationship with ourselves and others.
4. Encouragement Without bias
When someone encourages us, we're given the courage to be our best selves. This may lead to doing something important, such as making a major life change, setting a goal, or pursuing an opportunity we may not have considered otherwise.
While friends and family members may be encouraging and helpful, they are seldom completely unbiased or have the clinical skills to set bias aside (consciously or unconsciously). A therapeutic relationship offers the opportunity to have an unbiased, dedicated coach to help us see around our blind spots and set realistic goals to become the most optimal versions of ourselves.
5. Commitment to Growth
In recent years, we’ve seen more and more people take to social media to talk about their physical, emotional, and mental health challenges. Younger generations appear more open to discussing their vulnerabilities, generating supportive and empowering communities around them. They’re also more open to seeking therapy and rejecting stigma.
There’s something we can all learn from being open and honest about our lives in safe spaces that encourage a spirit of exploration and curiosity. It's seldom we're given an hour with someone dedicated to helping us unpack the challenges of our lives while helping us grow through them. Counselors and therapists are committed to staying the course and assisting us in achieving our desired outcomes.
In short, pursuing psychotherapy can be an empowering decision to invest in yourself. It offers a committed, ongoing relationship dedicated to you and your personal growth and development. Therapy has the potential to provide the gifts of self-knowledge, compassion, and commitment to growth that everyone can benefit from. It isn't just for “people with problems.” It’s for all of us.
To find a therapist, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.
