The Realities of JOMO Versus FOMO

You've likely heard of FOMO, or the Fear of Missing Out. It's an emotional state that has been said to have skyrocketed in the age of social media, where everyone is all too aware of the fun that everyone else is having—and potentially jealous of those having it. And FOMO has often been blamed as one potential reason that younger generations are more likely to flake on plans—because they are afraid to fully commit to something, lest there be something better that they'd be missing out on!

But hidden underneath the cultural discourse about FOMO has been the voice of self-described introverts who relish the cancellation of plans. Moreover, as the pandemic halted the typical hustle and bustle and demands of socializing, there was most definitely a subset of people who expressed that they were much more comfortable that way, opting out of the pressures of being social altogether and being granted a ready excuse to stay in their homes and lessen interactions.

This is connected to the concept of JOMO—the Joy of Missing Out—which has gained credence as an often healthier alternative to FOMO. In its optimal state, when people can be fully present and engaged in what is actually happening in their lives, rather than comparing themselves to others who seem to be having more fun, that does seem to represent a high level of psychological well-being. Being freed from constant comparisons of what everyone else is doing could lead to less jealousy, and the potential for more mindful fulfillment with what we have, rather than what we don't.

New research has now taken a closer look at the concept of JOMO, however, and the results are more mixed than expected. In fact, anxiety may be a bigger part of JOMO than initially realized. This suggests that perhaps there are very different types of joy of missing out—from the healthier, more mindful embracing of solitude free from concern about what others are thinking, on the one hand, to the relief that comes from the avoidance of social anxiety—even though someone ultimately is craving it—on the other.

The study, run by Christopher Barry, Ph.D., a psychology professor at Washington State University, found that only 10 percent of those who expressed that they experienced JOMO did not endorse having social anxiety. And even among this 10 percent, there was often an expression of some symptoms of loneliness. This suggests that the vast majority of self-proclaimed experiencers of JOMO are not necessarily feeling calm and mindfully fulfilled after all.

In fact, there was a connection found between social media use and JOMO—which, though it surprised the researchers at first, suggests that maybe those opting out of social events are still attempting to keep up with what everyone else is doing, rather than fully embracing their own alone time.

This brings to mind the crucial difference between being alone versus being lonely, and the distinction between the relief of avoidance of an anxiety-producing situation versus the true satisfaction of doing something for its own sake. At what point does the immediate calm that can come with cancelled plans for someone with social anxiety just perpetuate that anxiety, by denying them the opportunity to manage it? Is it really "joy" at that point—especially when maybe they would have rather been in the social setting after all?

It should be noted that participants were recruited through MechanicalTurk, Amazon's crowdsourcing platform, a place where people can pick up small online jobs for pay. It seems that that sample might potentially skew more socially anxious than the general population, but it's not a guarantee.

This intriguing new study underscores the need for future research about just how we find social fulfillment in the age of social media and digital interaction—and whether those who profess to be free from FOMO may just be suffering a different brand of it. Perhaps JOMO and FOMO have more in common than their rhyming names.