Why Does Imperfection Maintain Perfection?

"There is a crack in everything; that's how the light gets in." —Leonard Cohen

Just this week I saw Ridley Scott’s brilliant biopic of Napoleon Bonaparte, and I was reminded of the opening sentence of an address by the French senate to Napoleon. This was a senate, that, as Paul Watzlawick pointed out, had the unenviable advantage of having experienced — and survived — the consequences of the attempted im­position of ‘liberty, fraternity and egalite’ on the French population. In their address, they said, "Sire, the desire for perfection is one of the worst maladies that can affect the human mind", and I believe they were correct.

Brilliant or Perfect?

Psychologist Brené Brown makes an interesting distinction between healthy striving and perfectionism that is not just critical; it's transformative. Healthy striving is akin to a plant reaching for the sun — it's natural, life-affirming, and rooted in purposeful growth. Perfectionism, on the other hand, is a toxic mimicry of this process, where the end goal is not meaningful action, but rather a desperate attempt to avoid criticism, secure external validation, and achieve the unachievable at any cost. It is a path that paradoxically leads us away from success. In the clinic, I have seen its corrosive effect at the heart of many mental and behavioural problems and in relational stagnation.

Perfectionists Abound

In a world that constantly pushes us toward the unattainable goal of perfection, perfectionism should not be seen as a benign striving for excellence, but as a self-destructive and often compulsive belief system. The compulsion for perfection can have pathological consequences and trigger many social and mental problems including paranoia, self-harm, and body dysmorphophobia to name but a few.

This negative concept of perfection is not new — Aristotle already warned us that “the essence of political tragedy is to make the perfect the enemy of the good.” Perfectionism's fatal flaw is its tendency to transform into its exact opposite, leading to atrocity, repression, and an even greater sense of imperfection. Perfectionism is a siren call that believes in a utopian, heavenly state where one can be immune to the slings and arrows of shame, judgment, blame, and self-criticism. We need only look at the messaging of many world leaders today to observe its toxic and heady attraction to humans. The concept has long been deceptively simple: demolish the status quo, and from its ashes, a new, spontaneous good will emerge.

Watzlawick says that this belief casts radical upheaval in a noble light, portraying the dismantling of current structures as an act of love for humanity. Mulan, a character from Martin du Gard Maurice's renowned novel "Les Thibaults," encapsulates this sentiment when he declares, “Everything has to be smashed to start with. Our whole damned civilization has to go before we can bring any decency into the world.” Sacrifice and destruction are seen as necessary for creating something better every time only one could be flawless in every regard, and all would be right with the world. This relentless pursuit of the perfect is a façade, but it is both a shield and a chain, locking individuals away from a healthy sense of themselves and their inherent potential.

Power Corrupts

Some of the dangers and obsession with perfection can be seen in its detrimental effects on society and individuals. As Lord Acton’s adage goes, "Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely", as relevant today as when first spoken. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe suggested to us, "Beware of what you wish for in youth because you will get it in middle life." He cautioned against the blind pursuit of wishes without considering the possible repercussions — and the ironic twists of fate that we all experience.

The fulfillment of one's desires may not always result in the expected outcome and can sometimes lead to unforeseen and negative consequences. Michel Foucault, a French philosopher, said about the nature of our actions and their effects, "People know what they do; frequently they know why they do what they do; but what they don't know is what they do." Foucault's thoughts on the impact of our actions suggest that while we may be aware of our actions and even our motivations, we often remain unaware of the broader consequences that our actions have, such as the issues we see with the environment and climate change.

The Book of Tea

Okakura Kakuzō’s 1906 essay "The Book of Tea" encapsulates chadō (the Japanese tea ceremony) as an embodiment of purity, harmony, and mutual charity. It represents a celebration of the ‘Imperfect’, a tender endeavour to navigate the possible within the impossible landscape of life. Chadō confronts our standard perceptions of beauty and Japanese Kintsugi philosophy is one based around imperfection. Kintsugi was created by ancient Japanese artisans dissatisfied with the crude staples on their broken pottery which had been sent to China for repair. Instead, they opted to fill the cracks with gold-laced lacquer, creating a stronger and more beautiful piece. Each ceramic object in Japanese culture narrates its unique journey. Repaired items signify their cherished history, thus venerating their inherent imperfection.

This narrative not only challenges our definition of beauty but asks us to transform and improve upon the existing imperfect state of affairs through adding but not removing. They also caution that in our quest for perfection, we must be wary of the corruption that comes from the pursuit of absolute power or beauty.

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Wabi-Sabi

Wabi-sabi (侘寂), a traditional Japanese aesthetic, centres on the acceptance of transience, impermanence, and imperfection and is influenced by Buddhist teachings. It appreciates the beauty that is imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete, embracing characteristics such as asymmetry, roughness, simplicity, and modesty. In the West, if something breaks, we discard it, we idolize youth and flawlessness, discard fractured relationships, and resist the signs of ageing. Yet our scars and history are written in our minds and on our bodies, telling the story of who we are. What if we could embrace these imperfections as strengths? Just as with Kintsugi, scars and flaws can make us better, more human and even more connected to others, just as Shakespeare’s, character, Coriolanus used his scars of war to gain votes and public empathy.

Attempting to hide our imperfections only allows them to grow. In the West, repairs aim to restore an object to its original condition, but kintsugi enhances the scars, making the repaired item even more valuable than before. Even the process of grieving changes us, and attempting to control pain only transforms it into suffering. Kintsugi offers a metaphor for a more compassionate society, one that does not discard the broken but sees potential for rebirth in every crack. It teaches us that through our scars and our stories, beauty and strength can emerge. The wisdom of wabi-sabi reminds us that true beauty, and perhaps true power, lies in the graceful acceptance of imperfection in all its forms. It is within this embrace of the imperfect that we find the truest form of power, one that does not corrupt but enlightens and strengthens, much like the light that finds its way through the cracks. Scars hold the memory of our experiences, a true recognition of suffering, and an acknowledgement of existence. The concept of repair transcends an object's previous state, offering us all an eternal hope of resurrection in any form we see fit to imagine.

“While we pursue the unattainable, we make the realizable impossible.” —Robert Ardrey