Is There a Little Narcissism in All of Us?

Most of us are just trying to get ahead – to have a good career and income, to move up the social ladder, to be influential. There’s nothing wrong with self-interest and being a little bit selfish. But how much is too much self-centeredness?

Narcissism is the term given to extreme selfishness. Narcissists have an inflated view of self and believe that they are superior to others. This leads to arrogance and a lack of empathy. And we view narcissism as a continuum, with very low levels of self-centeredness at one end and extreme narcissism – what is actually termed “narcissistic personality disorder” — at the other end. We all fall somewhere on that continuum. That means that some level of self-focus exists in all of us, and it may change across the lifespan. For example, teenagers and young adults tend to have more self-centeredness than older adults. This might even be an advantage as young people compete in school, to find jobs, and to get ahead in their early work careers.

When does narcissism become too much?

Clearly, people who are extremely high on narcissism – those who might be classified as having narcissistic personality disorder – are in the “too high” category, but this is less than 7 percent of the population.

Here are some items from a narcissism scale (strong agreement with the items suggests more narcissism):

• I know that I am good because everybody keeps telling me so
• I think I am a special person.
• I find it easy to manipulate people.
• I always know what I am doing.
• I like to be the center of attention.
• I am going to be a great person.
• I am more capable than other people.
• I am an extraordinary person.

Is narcissism on the rise?

Narcissism is getting a lot of attention lately, and one concern is that narcissism is on the rise. It very well may be. Several years ago a study found higher rates of narcissism in young people and suggested that it was related to culture, particularly social media, and child-rearing practices. (See more on this potential narcissism “epidemic” here.)

What is the antidote to narcissism?

That’s pretty clear: It is cultivating empathy. Focusing on others and caring for them helps combat narcissism. At the same time that young people seem to be becoming more self-centered, there is also a movement in youth toward solving social problems, dealing with racial and economic injustice, and helping others.

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