4 Ways Crucible Experiences Profoundly Affect Our Lives

We have all likely had them, although sometimes we may not notice them. They are crucible experiences – events that lead to profound changes in our psyches and our lives. Examples include surviving a life-threatening illness, the breakup of a long-term relationship, being victimized/abused, the death of a loved one, losing a job, or going on a service mission to help disadvantaged individuals.

Enduring one of these significant crucible experiences often causes individuals to reflect on the experience, and on other aspects of their lives. These events can lead to positive growth experiences. Here are four:

1. Stimulating Learning and Development. When we experience life-changing events, such as the loss of a job, or a major failure at work, it offers us the opportunity to reflect on the circumstances and the causes. We may, for example, realize that we need to do some personal work and change our behavior going forward. A key to using a crucible experience to learn and develop involves reflection and careful analysis of what happened and why.

2. Building Character. There is a saying that “what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger,” and crucible events, although often traumatic, can help us to become stronger. A recent study in the Journal of Management Education suggests that crucible experiences are critical to developing character in students and in leaders. What aspects of character can be developed from crucible experiences? Through learning, we can gain wisdom. We may also learn to better manage our emotions. We may become more empathic to others needs/concerns, and we may become more resilient. [Learn more about character development here.]

3. Improving Relationships. When crucible experiences involve other individuals (e.g., romantic relationships, work relationships, friendships) it can cause us to pause, reflect, and put more energy and effort into future relationships. Losing a family member, for example, can be devastating, but can help us to realize the value in our other relationships.

4. Increasing Self-Insight. Crucible experiences help us to put things into perspective. We can use them to look at the “big picture” of life, and to gain a better understanding of who we are as a person. Again, reflection on the crucible experience, analysis of it, and commitment to learn from it are the keys.

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