Defeating Negative Thoughts in Hard Times

We all have them. We may allow them to play on repeat in our minds when we know we should brush them off and let them pass by. We may allow them to ruin our day when really we want to actively defy them.

They are a rush-to-judgment. Those painful nagging thoughts that irritate, exasperate, and leave you feeling demoralized. They can creep up at any moment and paint experiences in a bad light. They are the “what if’s” and the inaccurate perceptions that we sometimes feel when we are less than comfortable or less than confident in a setting or situation. These thoughts are specific, occur reflexively, and they are discrete, making them easier to accept as credible (Beck, 1979).

Since the lockdowns and increased political and societal unrest, studies have shown an increase in automatic negative thoughts (APA, 2021; Lindner et al., 2022). Because automatic negative thoughts can stem from our internal systems and anxieties, our interpretations could be even more misaligned with reality as we deal with the prolonged stress of present-day tensions and unknowns.

So what do we do about them? How do we keep these intrusive and defeatist thoughts from ruining the moment? The day? The week? The chance to try something new or the chance to do something great?

How to Avoid the Trap

With the right tools and practice, you can train yourself to catch these thoughts, release them, and replace them with more beneficial and realistic thoughts. To start:

1. Notice.

One of the first things that you can do to stop these unwelcome thoughts is to simply notice when they arise. Oftentimes, we do notice them, but do not acknowledge them for what they are—negative, unrealistic, and unhelpful. We instead let them fester and snowball until they take over. The simple act of noticing these thoughts for what they are is a powerful first step toward defeating them.

2. Separate yourself, the thought, and the emotion.

Our emotions are closely tied to our thoughts and it is important to separate the two. When a negative thought arises, you want to take the time to actively distinguish between the thought and the emotion. This will help you in determining a more realistic and positive thought. After this, remind yourself that the emotion is a passing piece of data, but that you are not the emotion.

3. Recognize their effect on your mind, body, mood, and behavior.

Along the lines of noticing negative thoughts and calling them what they are, it is important to notice and recognize the effect that these thoughts have on you. Ask yourself:

• What is my body feeling right now as a result of this thought?
• What am I experiencing emotionally as a result of this thought?
• How is this thought impacting my mood? My behavior? My motivation?
• What will happen if I keep thinking this way?

4. Take the thought in, then let it go.

That last question, “What will happen if I keep thinking this way?” is pretty powerful. Think about it. What will happen if you let negative thoughts linger and persist? Like most pesky annoyances, one negative thought will lead to another, and another, and yet another, until they take over.

For this reason, it would be helpful to welcome and recognize the negative thought for what it is, call it out, and then let it go. You may want to tell yourself, “Oh, this is just a negative thought trying to creep in and steal my thunder. I won’t let it do that!” Notice the thought, then let it go. Maybe even visualize yourself placing the thought on a cloud and watching it drift away in a breeze.

This skill could be strengthened by practicing mindfulness, as this exercise relies on mindful moments. Moreover, studies show that mindfulness is effective in reducing negative thoughts (Ayhan & Kavak Budak, 2021; Ritvo et al., n.d.)

5. If you cannot let it go, play detective. Just the facts.

Sometimes, we cannot let go of a negative thought, no matter how hard we try. They just linger and fester and refuse to leave. In that case, you will need to do a little detective work. You can ask yourself questions like:

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• What evidence do I have that this thought is true?
• How could I prove this thought could be false?
• Could this thought stem from prolonged exposure to current national stressors, such as post-COVID re-entry worries, political unrest, or continuous exposure to disheartening media?
• If I were talking to a friend in this position, what would I say to them?
• What is a more positive and helpful way of looking at this?
• What will happen if I think about this from a more positive standpoint?
• Some studies show that with the right mindset, some negative thoughts can improve performance. With that, how can I alter this thought and turn it into a catalyst to do something great? What challenge can I create for myself with this thought? How can I use this thought as a motivator? (Kim, et al. 2021).
• Even if this thought is true, so what? What of it? Will I really care about this a year from now? Will anyone else really be hurt by it? Does it really matter in the long run?

If you have a trusted friend or significant other, bring them in as your supplemental voice of reason. Ask them to help you think about this in a more positive and realistic light.

6. Be adventurous with experiential exercises.

Turn on your motivating playlist, read some inspirational quotes, do what it takes to boost yourself up, and challenge yourself to partake in whatever is causing your negative thoughts. If you need to, take baby steps. If you are in the middle of the experience, take a step back and go at it slowly. Do not miss out on opportunities just because irrational worried thoughts are trying to cramp your style.

7. Follow up with reflective questions like:

• Was it really as bad as I thought it was going to be?
• What went well?
• What can I do next time to make it better?
• How did I gain the bravery and power necessary to overcome this?

We are living in uncertain times. The unknowns and tensions swirling could lead us to inaccurately process and interpret information in a negative light. Continuous acceptance of automatic negative thoughts could lead to increased mental health conditions (APA, 2021; Batmaz et al., 2015; Onofrei, 2020). For this reason, it is important to recognize and reframe automatic negative thoughts that may creep into our minds.