What Is “Medium” Self-Esteem, and Why Does It Matter?

Authentic Self-Esteem & Well-Being, Part XIV

Part II of this series described four basic types of self-esteem. They result from understanding it as a relationship between two factors—namely, competence and worthiness. This two-factor theory of self-esteem is based on how well or how poorly we face the challenges of living that come our way in life. However, there is another type of self-esteem to consider known as “medium” self-esteem. This type is by far the most common one.

Authentic self-esteem only comes from trying one’s best to do the “right,” the “good,” or the worthy thing when faced with a challenge of living. People who do that often come to have a high degree of competence and worthiness as a person, which makes their self-esteem authentic, or real and healthy. “Low” self-esteem is the opposite because it reflects a lack of competence when dealing with such challenges and a general sense of not being worthy. This condition often results in being anxious, avoiding challenges, feeling like a failure, being depressed, turning to substances, or worse. In addition, there are two types of “defensive” self-esteem. One involves experiencing oneself as being a worthy person, but doing very little to deserve that feeling, as seen in a “phony” or narcissistic person. The other comes from dealing with a challenge competently, but doing so in a negative or unworthy way, such as we might find with a workaholic or an antisocial personality, respectively. (Mruk, 2013).

“Medium” Self-Esteem

However, it would be an oversimplification to say that people are simply divided into one of these four basic types and that is all there is to self-esteem. In fact, relatively few people have authentic self-esteem most of the time. Although low self-esteem is common, people who suffer it do not suffer it all the time. While all too many individuals have defensive self-esteem, most of us slip into it from time to time. Finally, when people take self-esteem tests, the majority are rated as “average or “normal.” In other words, while there are plenty of people who reflect the four basic types, most of us are somewhere in the middle — below authentic or healthy self-esteem, but above low or defensive self-esteem.

Early self-esteem researchers called this type “Medium Self-Esteem” (Weissman & Ritter, 1970). Since most of us have this combination of competence and worthiness, it is seen as “normal.” Perhaps that is why it does not receive much attention. However, if the wish is to increase well-being, then it is a mistake to disregard medium self-esteem because it has potential. It can be pictured as seen in the image.

Source: Mruk, C. J., (2013). Self-Esteem and positive psychology: Research, theory, and practice (4e). New York: Springer Publishing Co.

Key Characteristics of Medium Self-Esteem

Medium self-esteem has several characteristics that affect everyday life. First, it is relatively stable, which means that while we may struggle with self-esteem, we usually seem to manage it with some degree of success. We have more good self-esteem moments and days than bad, which allows us to see ourselves as competent and worthy.

Second, medium self-esteem is helpful in two other ways. For one, it helps us bounce back from the slings and arrows of life, as well as to recover from temporary periods of low or defensive self-esteem. This is known as the “protective” or “shielding” function of self-esteem and we all need it to survive. Second, medium self-esteem reminds us of our potential to increase self-esteem in the future. This characteristic is known as the “growth” or “expansion” function of self-esteem (Mruk, 2013). Both are necessary to maintain our sense of self.

Good and bad self-esteem moments are also important for self-esteem, though in different ways. For example, when we face a challenge authentically, we experience a sense of well-being that affirms our self-esteem or may even increase it. When we avoid a challenge or fail to deal with it, we may lose self-esteem but such times also teach about the importance of trying our best. Either way, self-esteem moments teach those with medium self-esteem about the value of dealing with future challenges in more competent or worthwhile ways.

While medium self-esteem is healthy enough to provide a stable foundation for everyday life, it also acts as a type of internal behavioral compass that tells us which path to take when facing a personal or interpersonal challenge. In this sense, medium self-esteem acts as a “true north” pointing us toward more authentic ways of living and the increase in self-esteem that comes with it.