Did the Greeks Really Have 7 or 8 Words for Love?

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In 2016, I wrote an article entitled These are the 7 Types of Love, which helped spawn several more articles in the genre.

At the beginning of that article, I did say that the seven types of love were “loosely based on classical readings, especially of Plato and Aristotle, and on J.A. Lee’s 1973 book, Colors of Love." But this explainer was often overlooked, leading many to believe that the Ancient Greeks had seven (or even eight) words for love.

Briefly, these are the seven types of love that I discussed, and the definitions that I gave:

1. Eros. Sexual or passionate love. Of the seven types of love, eros is the one most akin to the modern construct of romantic love, which only emerged in tandem with the novel.
2. Philia. Friendship, or shared goodwill.
3. Storge. Familial love, for example, the love between parents and their children, which, compared to philia, is a lot more unconditional.
4. Agape. Universal love, such as the love for strangers, nature, or God. Agape is a concept similar to Christian charity or modern altruism.
5. Ludus. Playful or uncommitted love, love as sport.
6. Pragma. A kind of practical love founded on reason or duty and one’s longer-term interests. Sexual attraction takes a back seat role in favor of personal qualities and compatibilities, shared goals, and “making it work.”
7. Philautia. Self-love, akin to self-esteem.

In addition, one could also speak of an eighth type of love, xenia, or hospitality towards foreigners and travelers. In the ancient world, including as far afield as India, xenia was seen as a moral obligation, and is a major theme in Homer’s Odyssey as well as the Mahabharata. In my original article, I did not explicitly mention xenia, which I subsumed under agape.

(Some authors also cite mania, or "obsessive love", as a type of love—based, I suspect, on an original misunderstanding of Plato's theia mania, or "divine madness," of which love is the most inspired kind, followed by poetry, mysticism, and prophecy.)

Now, of these eight words for love, only six were present in the culture, or at least the literature, of Ancient Greece: eros, philia, storge, agape, philautia, and xenia. Of these six, storge is rarely used, philautia is especially associated with Aristotle and his Nicomachean Ethics, and agape is especially associated with the New Testament. Although we'll never know, it seems unlikely that words such as storge and philautia would have been in the everyday vocabulary of ordinary Greeks.

The remaining two words for love, ludus and pragma, are among the "love styles" discussed by J.A. Lee in Colours of Love. Ludus is not even a Greek word, but a Latin word for "play" or "sport"—and the root of the English "ludicrous." In the naturalistic tradition represented by Roman poets such as Lucretius and Ovid, love is sometimes compared to a game, although this was never more than a poetic metaphor.

In conclusion, the wise Greeks did have several words for love, although not as many as seven or eight. But even if the Greeks did not have all the words, there are indeed seven or eight types of love, if not many more, such as the love for the deceased, and the missing from our lives. And in a world obsessed with romantic love, it is always worth reminding ourselves of the fact.

Read more in For Better For Worse: Essays on Sex, Love, Marriage, and More.