When Political Ideology Makes Kids Anxious

I recently watched "The Anarchists," a 2018 documentary chronicling an anti-government community. The film was a reminder of how impressionable children can be to their parents’ political ideology. In the opening scene, the anarchists’ children throw textbooks into a bonfire. The kids excitedly scream expletives at “the state,” as their parents watch with pride.

The consequences of political extremism are not always as dramatic as the documentary portrays, but political talk at the dinner table can affect a child psychologically, especially in terms of increased anxiety. Political ideology has led some of my young clients to say that they wish they could live on a deserted island if it meant they would be able to avoid anyone who thinks differently than they and their family do.

If parents lead the child to believe that those with whom they interact daily are against their beliefs, this could fuel an us-versus-them mentality that makes the child more vulnerable to feeling isolated and anxious.

And it’s not just the words. Children are sensitive to their parents’ facial expressions and tone of voice. Through observation and modeling, they learn to cope with big emotions in the same ways their parents do. Parents’ behavior feeds into a child’s anxiety, just as it does when an overprotective parent responds in an overly cautious manner to their child’s bids for independence, such as not letting a child go to a friend’s sleepover.

It can be especially difficult to collaborate with parents when their beliefs are based on disinformation. Like other mental health professionals, I strive to put aside my personal beliefs when helping clients. For example, when working with anti-vax parents, who tend to fall on both extremes of the political spectrum, I learned, the hard way, that helping them feel understood was more effective than presenting them with logic, science, and research studies that challenge their beliefs.

In recent years, though, political extremism has infiltrated my therapy sessions in more complex ways. For instance, I have worked with far-right parents who voiced fear that liberals were out to harass them, and who believed that food shortages resulting from socialism would prevail in the U.S. under democratic leadership. What to me looked like misperceptions of reality were seen as actual threats by the child’s parents, limiting the impact I could have by trying to help child clients think more realistically.

Lacking trust in the medical community is a theme in the rhetoric of political extremism (both on the right and left) that has also impacted the therapeutic relationship. Anti-vaxxers are one example of this, but the problem extends to a general mistrust of science-backed interventions. For example, one family I worked with believed that ventilators killed more people than COVID-19.

Another problem with political extremism is the secrecy it encourages. At times, my child clients have shared that their parents had told them not to tell me their worries because doing so would reveal their political ideology. The children of political extremists are often taught that silence is critical to protecting themselves from being attacked by the other side.

Beyond impacting psychotherapy, having a fear that your political affiliation will unintentionally be revealed blocks children from forming deeper relationships with peers. They come to believe it is easier to avoid peers altogether than to risk conflict over political differences.

Clients have told me they worry they will not be able to handle hanging out with peers who think differently. What if the friend wears a mask during our hang-out at the park? What if I can’t control my anger if they talk about political beliefs that are different than my own? While it is understandable, and socially desirable, for people to not want to air extreme political opinions, the idea that they must either keep silent or create conflict also feeds fears that they will not be able to control their emotions.

Trying to change a client’s political ideology has ethical implications that are beyond the scope of this post. However, I believe mental health clinicians can help curb the anxiety propagated by political extremism without having to directly change clients’ ideology. I like the following 2 strategies:

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1. Teach radical openness. Radical openness is a core principle of radically open dialectical behavior therapy (RO-DBT). RO-DBT helps people think more flexibly. It can also help people see that they hold similar values with others despite differences in political beliefs, and that valuing connecting with others can override fears of interacting with people who think differently. I use radical openness with the aim of teaching clients that they can be friends with others regardless of their political beliefs. In the spirit of holistic thinking, I help them understand that one’s political beliefs represent just one aspect of a person, not their entire identity.
2. Help children cope with actual threats. There are ways to inform children about global threats without paralyzing them in fear. Take, for instance, the efforts made by mental health professionals to help children cope with anxiety about climate change. While environmentalists might also espouse an us-versus-them mentality, there is potential to promote a “better together” mentality when more emphasis is placed on cleaning up oppressive systems (i.e. the fossil fuel industry) as opposed to hating on your next-door neighbor because they enjoy barbeques.

Given the devastating effects of social isolation and loneliness later in life, it is of utmost importance that we recognize the way political ideology contributes to child development. We must address these issues in ways that encourage kids to interact civilly with others as opposed to shutting out anyone who thinks differently.