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Key points
- It may be tempting to cancel therapy sessions when doing well.
- Therapy sessions are still highly beneficial, even in "good" or stable times.
- Therapy can be viewed as a lifestyle investment instead of an 'as needed' occurrence.
“Hello, I’d like to cancel my appointment for tomorrow. I feel like I’m doing okay and don’t need it.” Every therapist has heard this a time or two. Naturally speaking, therapy sessions will always ebb and flow. There are periods that are chaotic and challenging and other times that are calmer and more stable.
As a clinician, we are taught to meet our clients "where they are at," so to speak. This includes frequency of sessions. However, to what degree should clients choose the frequency of their own appointments? Here are three reasons why you should keep your therapy appointments, even in periods when you’re doing okay.
1. Commitment to lifestyle change
In many ways, the treatment of psychotherapy is closely linked to that of a lifestyle change. It follows the same logic and pattern as any other lifestyle change such as going to the gym, eating healthy, or living a sober life. Showing up is half the work. Going to therapy sends the mental message that it is important, an investment, and a priority in overall health. Once we start negotiating, we subconsciously tell ourselves that there are other more important things than our mental health.
"But what if I have nothing to talk about?" I hear this often. Believe it or not, sometimes it’s less about what you talk about and more about showing up. When we show up to the gym, especially when we really don’t want to, many of us feel proud for going. We broke the barrier of apathy. Even if the workout isn’t the best one we’ve had, something is better than nothing. Ironically, some of my best sessions have been with clients who come in feeling like they have nothing to talk about, which leads to point two.
2. Less mental stress can allow for more mental clarity
Paradoxically, when we are in a calm and clear mental headspace, we are also more open and receptive to ideas, suggestions, or challenges. We are able to process on a clearer level because we don’t have to put energy into strong emotions. Have you ever gone to a friend, family member, or therapist with a problem or concern but also subconsciously know what feedback you are looking for? If you don’t get that feedback, you may become frustrated or shut down. Sometimes when clients come into sessions feeling emotionally charged, they are actually less open and receptive to feedback. A therapist can use calmer or more stable times to bring up more challenging topics knowing that the clients may have an easier time or be more receptive. As a client, you may feel as though therapy isn’t needed, but your therapist may be waiting for these calmer periods to do a different type of work. It’s these calmer periods that allow for deeper processing that can otherwise be blocked by stronger emotions.
3. Keep the momentum
“A body in motion stays in motion.” Such is true not just in physics, but in the psyche as well. Here is a classic example: A client cancels a session due to feeling ‘good.’ The next session isn’t for 2 weeks. Once that session approaches, the client continues to feel good and cancels again. At this point, the client is several weeks without consistent therapy. In this time, small habits or unpleasant feelings may begin to creep up, but the client is unaware because they are on such a small scale. Eventually, when the client re-establishes, the issue is much larger. Not only is getting back into therapy harder, but so is working through the issue. Keeping the momentum of regular sessions is a mental health version of being proactive, or preventative health care.
Having these conversations with clients and setting therapeutic expectations is crucial. Further, collaboration in sessions is important. I always encourage clients to attend sessions; if not all 50 minutes of therapy are used, that’s okay (but checking insurance qualifications and billing is important here). Often times if clients continue cancelling, this may be a sign that either they are avoiding issues, or no longer need therapy. Both of these circumstances need to be processed before termination. Thus, next time you are second guessing cancelling your therapy session, stop and consider these 3 secondary gains.
To find a therapist near you, visit the Psychology Today Therapist Directory.
