Police vs. Protesters: Can Personality Awareness Help?

As we have watched police brutality and protester destruction over the last few days, it’s easy to stereotype one group as all-good and the other as all-bad, and thereby justify the actions of one’s own group. Yet personality awareness tells us that it may not be the group that is the biggest problem, but individuals within each group who act without empathy or remorse. A big part of solving these problems appears to be more understanding of personalities and how people within groups can learn to restrain and remove those who are harmful to their professions and their causes.

Lack of Empathy and Remorse

One of the diagnostic criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder is “Lacks empathy; is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others.”¹ Research has shown that this personality disorder may be present in approximately 6% of the adult United States population.² Therefore, it’s not surprising that some of those among police have this personality, even if most don’t, and that some protesters have this personality, even if most don’t.

Since the theme of narcissists is superiority, they are driven to repeatedly find others to disrespect and demean in order to feel superior. While it’s often those around them (spouses, co-workers, neighbors), it also can be groups of people that they disparage. While this may just be done with abusive language, these remarks can occasionally support violence against those they are disparaging. Given their prevalence in society, we all know people like this.

One of the diagnostic criteria for antisocial personality disorder (also known as sociopath) is “Lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another.”³ This more dangerous personality pattern is in approximately 4% of the adult population.⁴ The theme of this personality seems to be that of dominance (see my blogs on sociopaths on this website). The image of a police officer with his hands in his pockets while kneeling on someone’s neck strongly suggests this characteristic.

Culture of Denial and Defense

Even though these personalities are individuals and may not number very many, they are often protected by their group by appealing to their group identity. A culture of silence has been often associated with police misconduct. Likewise, some protesters this week have tolerated their peers who vandalized and destroyed stores. A culture of us-against-them goes a long way in sheltering narcissists and sociopaths, and knowing this they often join such groups.

The question is: How do you change such a culture? Will we find a way to stop these individuals?

Long-Term Change

Some police departments are already changing their procedures, such as eliminating chokeholds of the type used when George Floyd was subdued and died. But they will need to also weed out officers who are reckless or rationalize hurting others. There usually is a long history. Having independent police review boards is one way of getting outside of the culture to police the culture, and cities are discussing this again.

Protesters will also need to organize themselves to be non-violent and weed out those narcissists and sociopaths who would distract from their messages through vandalism and arson. In the 1960s, Martin Luther King, Jr. and protesters practiced non-violent methods of drawing attention to racism and police brutality with much success at the time because they were disciplined and non-violent.

Short-Term Change

In the short term, we are already seeing signs of groups taking action against extremists this week. Police officers and even police chiefs have spoken to protesters and shown empathy for their concerns, and even “taken a knee” and prayed with protesters.

Some protesters have locked arms in front of stores to protect them from those who would be destructive. Some have come back to help clean up the destruction by others.

Individual Efforts

What can we do individually, as police, protesters, and simply citizens? At the very least, when we hear remarks or see behavior that goes too far, we can say something like, “That’s enough, Joe. Just stop it! Have some empathy!” before it builds up into violence or destruction in any direction.

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And we can communicate, person-to-person, rather than seeing each other only as stereotypes. We can all work harder to see the world from other people’s perspectives and have empathy for their different experiences. Here’s an example from this week, when a store owner, Mr. Buxton, tried to protect his merchandise from a looter:

“As he was pulling his merchandise from a looter’s hands Saturday night, he noticed all of them were young—perhaps not even 18 years old. When he took his things back, he said some of the teenagers looked shell-shocked and expressed regret.

“They said, ‘I’m sorry, man, I didn’t realize,’ Buxton said, noting an apparent disconnect between the looters’ actions and their repercussions. ... 'I just want everyone to stop thinking of people as groups: police, businesses, protesters. Each one of them is an individual.'”[5]

Hopefully, soon these types of discussions will begin taking place in more peaceful settings without stereotypes, violence, or destruction. Ideally, a culture of learning how to communicate peacefully, equally, responsibly, and with empathy could come from all of this. This would include setting limits on those who lack empathy and remorse and can’t stop themselves, regardless of their group. These solutions are up to all of us.