When Social Media Is Toxic for Young Athletes

“Comparison is the thief of joy,” Theodore Roosevelt observed.

Good point, Mr. President. Comparing ourselves to others is an enduring, troublesome human behavior that can lead to loss of confidence, selfishness, and frustration.

Social media can grease the slippery slide of comparison misery, especially in the sports world. It is a breeding ground for destructive comparison amongst athletes of all ages.

Social media can be a useful tool, but not the way it is often used. It has become a platform for image, status, and “brand” building, often via counterproductive means such as bragging, belittling of other athletes (including their own teammates), blaming, whining, and complaining, when things don't go their way.

Such behavior on social media apps, group chats and other social media platforms create massive roadblocks to relationships, team cohesion, and—ironically—undermining ultimate team and individual success with the very things they are trying to achieve in sports and other life endeavors.

For those reasons—and so many others—social media can be like an unflushed toilet. Engaging with it equivalent to sticking your head into those nasty, troubled waters.

A College Athlete's Social Media Take

An athlete and biomedical engineering graduate student at an academically prestigious division three university has a thoughtful perspective on social media. (Protective anonymity for him and the high-school athlete quoted in the sections below is maintained in this post.)

“It (social media) is a big ego competition,” observed this collegiate men’s track and field team competitor. “It's a form of peacocking, where you're going around showing other people how elegant your feathers are. A sense of individualism, as opposed to focusing on what really matters: the team."

“It's missing the point,” he continued. “They’re just saying ‘hey, look at me,’ trying to make sure they're being seen, driving them to make decisions that are better for making them look good than for the team having success."

“There's a saying that's been going around, ‘I'm him’” he explained. “it's something people will say after they have a highlight play, and hyping themself, as opposed to their team.”

There used to be a “There’s no ‘I’ in team” approach to sports.” Now it’s “There’s no team, just ‘I.’”

A High School Athlete's Take

“There’s both ups and downs to social media,” observed a 17-year-old high school senior and student-athlete who participates on two varsity teams. "On a positive side, it’s a new way of recruiting. One of the first colleges that reached out to me was because they had looked at me on my Twitter account and a sport recruiting platform."

“Social media has upsides where coaches can get video of you or tweets that you posted,” he continued. “If coaches are unable to watch you, physically, they have a platform to be able to reach out to you and see you play., even though it’s not as good as an in-person experience.”

Now for his is “unflushed toilet” view: “Social media can ruin a player’s confidence,” he shared. “When you scroll through Twitter and see other kids that you used to play with and the way that their coaches talk about them. Then you start playing the comparison game. It’s a big way players can look at a kid who had a good weekend compared to a weekend that may not have been a good one for you and think, 'Are they really much better than me?' Social media can promote a player, but I definitely think it can ruin a player.”

There are other aspects of social media that can also damage young athletes. This high school athlete insightfully identified a few more.

“With social media there really is no taking back what you put out there,” he said. “If you put out the wrong thing, at the wrong time, you can show bad character and that can be a negative way they look at you. It’s a way coaches could see your true colors and a bad personality side of you.”

Exactly! I know more than a few young athletes that had their recruiting prospects poisoned due to something they, or their parents, posted on social media. College coaches are seeking athletes with sound character, and a ‘wrong post at the wrong time’ entry can reveal a negative side of an athlete’s personality, character, family and other ‘true colors’ that a college program wants no part of.

Then there are the inter- and intra-team squabbles that show up on social media and group chats.

“It’s fun to show your ‘chip on your shoulder,’ but there are definitely times where teams take it too far,” the same high school athlete shared. “A player on an opposing team had words with me at a game that started an argument involving everybody.”

A social media spat featuring players on both teams ensued, erupting into an ugly cyber free-for-all.

“The other team ended up taking a couple of pictures off of my Instagram and things off my snapchat, posted it all in a video they made, and turning the whole thing into a big clown show,” he continued. It was a little disrespectful.”

A little disrespectful? Very disrespectful.

Other athletes have shared similar stories. Such shenanigans amongst players on the same team, ripping each other to shreds. It’s a ‘comparison game’ of sorts, building themselves up by tearing others down.

A professional athlete's take

WOW - Women Of Wrestling Superhero Twanna “The Beast” Barnett is more than familiar with the kind of squabbling and put-downs described above and the poisonous venom athletes inflict on each other via social media. She coaches Krav Maga—a form of martial arts—to young athletes and has much to say to them regarding such negativity.

“I tell kids that you don’t have to blow someone else’s candle out so that yours burns brighter,” Beast shared. “If you’re doing this at a collegiate or high school level it comes from a place of fear. You want to be recruited or get a scholarship and you feel like you have to diminish other people, setting yourself apart. That’s not a good thing.”

“Kids forget—and maybe their coaches and parents forget—that it’s a team sport,” she continued, “and when one athlete rises the rest of them (teammates) rise.

“In any combat sport, and especially wrestling, there’s still a responsibility to take care of your opponent in a certain way, Beast maintains. “I want to win, but I also don’t want to hurt the person across from me in the ring. There’s a respect aspect, and I think that’s been lost.”

“Social media has put people in their own bubble, their own world, and they don’t see anyone outside themselves: a me, me, me attitude,” observed Beast. “While you want to be at the top of your game, you don’t want to hurt someone else in the process, whether it’s physically or mentally.”

Take note, social media participants.

A Sports Psychologist's Take

Not much to add to the perceptive observations of the above collegiate, high school, and professional athletes, but here goes.

Social media can be used constructively, but improper use can be highly toxic.

Exercise thoughtful care if you journey into the social media jungle. Failure to do so can severely hinder team and individual pursuits, not to mention doing harm to others, and doing irreparable damage to you and your own character and reputation.

Remember that once something is posted on social media, it isn’t going away.

Think again If you believe what you’re putting out there won’t be seen outside your private circle. Teachers, teammates, parents, college recruiters, future employers, and a host of others with technological savvy can find it.

When it comes to the internet, there’s no such thing as privacy or a permanent delete button.

Constantly comparing yourself to others—something social media can contribute to—fuels a stressful loss of confidence, selfishness, frustration, and misery. It can foster resentment towards other people, leading to contentious relationships and divided, broken teams.

On balance, social media toxicity outweighs its advantages. If assigned the holy task of editing the Bible, social media would be added as the Eighth Plague of Revelation.